I LOVE MYSELF! XD

2009-01-04T14:45:00.001+08:00

Up and awayyyyyy:D

I'm gone:D Catch me if you can(:

2008-12-15T21:44:00.002+08:00

"Nolstagia"

I just realised that my previous post was childish, immature, bitchy and stuff. -_-

Ok. So anyway. December. Hmm. Uh, right. I have nothing to say. I don't even know why I'm blogging. Sheesh.

Okay crap here aiyah forget it I have no idea the meaning of this chunk of words here maybe you can just skip it but if you're reading this part now means you can't skip it because that means you've already read the first part that led you to reading this part hahahahaha this is so fun omg my blog post is getting stupid-er and lame each day hahahahah I think I'm the only one that thinks this post is so funny I dont know why hahahahha c'mon c'mon continue reading yo.

Haha, ok. that was stupid. LOL. Mmhmm. Ok, I'm getting very lame. Hahaha. Must stop talking to SOMEBODY. Later I'll get bedridden. HAHAH! Ok. That was mean. But aiya. Stating facts:D Lol! Ok, whatever. BYEEEEEEE:D

2008-12-15T01:17:00.002+08:00

Can you seriously stop making assumptions. Fine. You want me to hate all the way? I will. I promise. I will hate ALL THE WAY. Haven't you have had enough of fun. It gives you joy to see me mad hur? You know what? You've achieved your goal. Congratulations.

You know what? I used to think there was good in everybody. But today, you just proved me wrong. The start of the year. I admit. I didn't really like you. In fact, I found you irritating. Later half. I learnt to accept you. As a friend. And I have to admit. You were a good one. Then later, disputes and misunderstandings. You listened to other people. I always thought you knew me better than that. And FYI, I do not have a guilty conscience. I just wanted to make sure. Make sure that everything's ok between us. And I do not want people to hate you. I don't see the need to make people hate you, since you're already so hate-able.

Hmm, so you think I want to make people hate you? Right. Give evidences. What in the world did I even do to even make you think that I'm trying to get people on my side? You should know me by now. If I don't like someone, I'd tell them straight. You want me to tell you straight? FINE. I. HATE. YOU.

Are you happy now?

2008-12-10T01:05:00.003+08:00

"Fly away:D"

Dear God,

Thank you for friends who:
- Always stand by me no matter what happens
- Always make me smile when I'm feeling down
- Attempt to teach me maths questions even when I keep asking questions and complain that the subject doesn't make sense
- Groan over results with me
- Tell me stupid jokes that crack me up and make me smile like a looney to myself (eh, PSB(: )
- Always make me laugh and makes me forget about stupid things that piss me off and therefore, makes life less boring and less painful:D

Love,
Eileen(:

Ok, I feel so sweet now(: Lol. Ok. I should stop being ego.

Mm, I miss a lot of people now eh.

Like, PSB, Isabel, Ern Huei, Ern Le, Weedy, Jovee, Hilary, Sam Tan, Hui Ying, Sharon, Mae-Ann, Dharsh, plus many many more.

I can't wait for school to reopen(: Haha. Ok. Actually, no. Scratch that. Haha, I don't want Amaths diagnostic test. Heh. I should start studying like a bookworm mannnnnnnnnnn. Haha! Speaking of books, I just got my dad to buy 3 more books. Hahaha. Ok. More like, force him to. Lol.

E: Eh, daddy, buy book!
D: You have so many books at home already you still want somemore? Later your brain filled with words then you use all those chimchim words that I don't understand then anyhow cheat me I die.
E: Daddy, you understand what I'm talking about everytime.
D: Yea, I know. But maybe ah, one day, I don't understand anything that you talk about. That would make me look quite dumb.
E: Haha, daddy, it's ok. You're quite dumb already. HAHAHA!
D: Ehhh! You got dumb genes from me. So shut up.
E: -______________________- Ok. Buy or don't buy?
D: Buy la buy la. Everyday annoy me only.
E: Eh, what annoy. I'm just being persistent.
D: Sureeeeeeee.
E: Yea, learn from you(:
D: I knew I was going to regret what I said to you.

Haha, my dad's hilarious. And he went on and on about the dumb genes and my mum just told him to shut up and drive. Hahaha. My family's hilarious. My dad, the ultimate joker, my mum, the constant encourager, my two annoying brothers, who never fail to make me laugh. Hahaha, I love them loads and loads and loads:D

Dormant volcano. Haha, chill, Eileen, chill. Don't explode. If you explode, all the hot lava will spill out and you'll end up hurting quite a lot of people. Suppress. Don't break yet. Hang in there. It'll all blow over.

Ok, whatever. Bye(:

2008-12-06T15:19:00.005+08:00

"Out of line"

Ok. I am very very very very annoyed/irritated/pissed/whatever. Ugh. Ok. Chill, Eileen, chill. UGH! I am feeling very grouchy and moody and I feel like pulling out my hair and crawling back into bed... BUT I CAN'T. UGH!

Oh. Ugh. I should just do some quiz mannn. Haha. Ok. I'm random. But I really can't help it. I'm really pissed.

Rules:
1. The rules of the game get posted at the beginning.
2. Each player answers the questions about themselves.
3. At the end of the post the player then tags 5 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves a comment, letting them know they got tagged and to ask them to play and read your blog.

Starting time: 1523h
Name: Eileen
Sisters: 0
Brothers: 2
Shoe size: 7
Height: 157.5CM (BUT I WILL GROW... SOON)

★ Where do you live: SINGAPORE
★ Favourite drinks: Green tea! Lemon tea! Hahaha!
★ Favourite breakfast: Breakfast with family :D
★ Have you ever been on a plane?: YES!
★ Swam in the ocean: NO.
★ Fallen asleep at school: YES, OF COURSE I KNOW EVERYONE SLEEPS IN SCHOOL.
★ Broken someone's heart: I DON'T THINK SO
★ Fell off your chair: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
★ Sat by the phone all night waiting for someone to call: Nah, I'm not so desperate. BECAUSE I'D RATHER SLEEP :D

★ Saved e-mails: I don't really care about mails, actually. HAHAHAA
★ What is your room like: It is a room
★ What's right beside you: A LOT OF TISSUES:D
★ What is the last thing you ate: I FORGOT! HAHAHA!

★ Ever had chicken pox: YEAH
★ Sore throat: YEAHHHH
★ Stitches: NOOOO
★ Broken nose: NOOOOO

★ Do you believe in love at first sight: NO! HAHAHA!
★ Like picnics: NO I PREFER BBQ :D
★ Who was/were the last person/people you danced with: WAS IT ERN HUEI? OR ERN LE? I CAN'T REMEMBER! HAHAHA!
★ Last made you smile: PSB AND ERN HUEI. HAHAHA
★ You last yelled at: HAHAHA! MY SECTION:D

★ Today did you
★ Talk to someone you like: HUH, NO EH. AWW SAD.
★ Kiss anyone: NO.
★ Get sick: NO.
★ Talk to an ex: NO. YAH, I ALSO DON'T HAVE AN EX.
★ Miss someone: OMG NO DON'T HAVE EH. WHY AH HAHAHAHAHA I'M A LONER.
★ Eat: YES. BUT I FORGOT WHAT I ATE

★ Best feeling in the world: When you know there's always someone there (:
★ Do you sleep with stuffed animals: YES OF COURSE. HAHAHA!
★ What's under your bed: DIRT, DIRT, DIRT, BOOKS, DIRT, DIRT, OK, YOU GET THE DRIFT
★ Who do you really hate: WOAH. WHAT A QUESTION. I'LL KEEP THE ANSWER TO MYSELF :D
★ What time is it now? TIGER TIME. OKAY IT'S 15:30

★ Random ★
★ Is there a person who is on your mind now: UH, NO. HAHAHA
★ Do you have any siblings: I ALREADY SAID, I HAVE 2 BROTHERS.
★ Do you want children: YESSSS (HAHAHA THAT ANS SOUNDS SO DESPERATE)
★ Do you smile often: I guess? You need to ask my friends.
★ Do you like your handwriting: NO. HAHAHA!

★ Are your toe nails painted: NOT.
★ Whose bed other than yours would you rather sleep in: PARENTS LA!
★ What color shirt are you wearing now: WHITE:D AND IT'S THE "I LOVE PSB" SHIRT! HAHAHA! OK. IT SOUNDS QUITE WRONG. NO WORRIES. I'M STRAIGHT:D
★ What were you doing at 7:00 pm yesterday: I FORGOT
★ I can't wait till: I DON'T KNOW!

★ Are you a friendly person: When I feel like it.
★ Do you have any pets: NO
★ Where is the person you have feelings for right now?: IN ME. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
★ Does the last person you held hands with mean anything to you now?: I DON'T EVEN REMEMBER WHO I LAST HELD HANDS WITH
★ Do you sleep with the TV on?: AH YES, SOMETIMES.

★ What are you doing right now?: Reading and typing, and listening to eh, music :D
★ Have you ever crawled through a window?: NOPE.
★ Can you handle the truth?: HMM, SOMETIMES. IT DEPENDS.
★ Are you too forgiving?: UH. NO, I DON'T THINK SO.
★ Are you closer to your mother or father?: OKAY YES, MY FATHER.

★ Who was the last person you cried in front of?: UH, ERN HUEI. EVERYONE SAY I ROCK! HAHA!
★ How many people can you say you've really loved?: EH? HAHAHA! SENSITIVE ISSUE
★ Do you eat healthy?: No.
★ Do you still have pictures of you & your ex?: I ALRDY SAID, I HAVE NO EX.
★ Have you ever cried because of something someone said to you?: YEAH.
★ If you're having a bad day, who are you most likely to go to?: I EH.. GO TO MYSELF.
★ Are you loud or quiet most of the time?: Quiet. Yes, I don't like loud people.
★ Are you confident?: I guess? You gotta depend.

5 things I was doing 10 years ago:
1. I was five.
2. Eating.
3. I was in Kindergarten.
4. Eating
5. I WAS FIVE.

5 things on my to-do list today/tomorrow:
1. STUDY.
2. STUDY
3. STUDY
4. STUDY
5. STUDY (OMG! I HAVE NO LIFE AT ALL MAN! NEVERMIND! HAVING NO LIFE IS THE NEW LIFE! HAHA)

5 snacks I enjoy:
1. POCKY
2. CHOCOLATE
3. POCKY.
4. POCKY.
5. YAM YAM.

5 things I would do if I were a billionaire:
1. BUY A HOUSE IN NEW ZEALAND
2. BUY A NEW HOUSE.
3. BUY A CAR
4. BUY ANOTHER HOUSE, THIS TIME IN EUROPE.
5. FLY AROUND THE WORLD.

5 of my bad habits:
1. I get pissed off at myself. And so, it leads to getting pissed at other people.
2. Too much time on computer. Actually it's not really, but I can't resist. HAHAHAHA
3. Fickle minded.
4. BUY TOO MANY BOOKS.
5. I KEEP THINGS TO MYSELF.

5 places I have lived in:
1. Singapore.
2. Singapore.
3. Singapore.
4. Singapore.
5. Singapore. (OMG. REALLY NO LIFE AT ALL)

5 jobs I've had:
1. STUDENT
2. SISTER.
3. DAUGHTER.
4. GRAND-DAUGHTER.
5. EILEEN. HAHAHAHA ALL FIVE ARE RUBBISH.

Going to tag

I'M THE NICEST PERSON ON EARTH.
I WILL NOT TAG ANYONE.

Ok. I am pissed. And I don't know why I'm pissed. Oh I know. Because of that. Ok. I AM PISSED! I'm going out to scream/shout/yell/whatever. HAHAHA! BYE!

2008-12-04T15:15:00.002+08:00

"As you wish."

Ugh. I don't understand. I really don't. What do people want from me? I am only a human. They can't expect me to be everything they want me to be. I'm sick and tired of being a substitution. Sick and tired of meeting expectations. What I do really want, beats me. Wow! I don't even know what I want. SUPERB! AWESOME! Oh yes. I know what I want. For everything to go surreal. Like that'd ever happen. Ugh.

I want to migrate to New Zealand, where there are loads of animals. I'm gonna buy a house with a farm, with a creek nearby, and where I can see the sunset, and run towards its' horizon. Oh sheesh. I should stop fantasising mannnnn. Time to get back to the real world.

Really. You won't want to have my life. It ain't as great as you think it is.

2008-12-01T01:06:00.000+08:00

Tag replies:D
[Isabel] Aw, so sad(:
[Ern Le] Haha, have what! And idk who he is.
[Ann] Haha, I couldn't stop laughing when I saw that. Haha
[ET] Haha, where got!
[olivia] hiiiiii
[Hui Ying] Aiyo. Crush on me until like that.
[SHU:D] Bumbum, you shut up ah! I know you never practise for very long already.
[samantha] Haha, yeaaaa. WHATEVER:D I WANT SLEEPOVER ALSO!
[ET, shangzhi, Sam, Ern Le, Serene] Haha, Thanks(:
[Mae Ann] YEA LA!
[FBBF] OHMYGOODNESS! SHUT UP MAN!
[Jiexi] Thanks(:
[mel(:] haha(: SUNNY:D
[wanjun] Haha, it's ok(: Thanks
[olivia] You weren't supposed to know(:
[ern huei] haha
[samantha] hahaha, thanks(: it's ok. yea, I will(:
[weedy] haha! whatever mannnnnnn!
[ET] ARE YOU TRYING TO IMPLY THAT I'M AHLIAN? TSKTSK
[Ann] Hello(: Cheer up already la(: Thanks for being there yooooooo(:
[J] Hello(: Haha, yea la. I'm smiling like a goondo to myself la. --" Thanks for being there for me since young:D You're the bestestest childhood friend yo:D

2008-11-28T13:34:00.002+08:00

"Through My Eyes"

- Back from Kuching camp like uh, don't know how many days ago. Haha, and I had great fun there:D Hehe, Ok. I sound like a lil' kid. Lol.

- Yes, PSB, I missed you plenty too. Haha!

- The moment I got back, I saw the Lai's message. I almost fainted. Haha.

- Ugh. I get real annoyed when people put words into my mouth. And FYI, I'm not even close to you, so stop acting as if I'm real close to you.

- I'm going for SNYO concert later. Pray that I won't fall asleep.

- I'm having a very bad sore throat now. Dang.

- I want Tuesday to come nowwwww. Haha, I miss my section. Ok. Only some(:

Ok, I suppose that's all. Haha, Bye(:

2008-11-18T22:54:00.000+08:00

Psb! Hurry come back from kuching! I miss you alr! :)
I bet you're having fun, haha must tell me all about kuching yeessss.

2008-11-14T11:25:00.002+08:00

My Renee Post
Eh, Lai. Please get over Benny man! He's your beloved. Stop pushing him to me. Haha. Anyway, I'm sorry I can't go meet you later to collect whatever you want to give me. I have a bad feeling about this. And no. I'm not having lunch with Benny or anything. Actually, his house is quite near yours. All you have to do is just go to his house, knock on the door, and propose to him. DONE:D Then you'll stop pushing him to me:D (when everyone knows that you love him)

My Isabel Post
Isabel, see? One for you as requested. Haha! Anyway, you've been a very good friend:D LPB rocks socks ok! AND I AM NOT A POTATO >=( Haha. And I really enjoy our midnight talks:D Hehe. Barack Obama and global warming. Lol(: Haha.

My PSB Post
Tsktsktsk. Haha, Psb, you still suck:D Kidding! Hehe, you're the greatest best friend ever:D So like it or not, you're stuck being my best friend for life:D Haha. Ok. Sounds very wrong:D And uh, your nic's coming back soon right? Ask him go online nehhh. I want to tell him smth:D (I think you know what I'm going to tell him already please) And you can open the house for the ho when she comes propose. Haha.

My Ern Huei Post
Hahaha. You've been a very great friend:D So ahemlogicalahem, and uh. Sweet:D Ok. Not sweet. Haha. Anywayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy, you've been the one giving me my wake up calls this year:D And snap me out of my dreams and fantasy (heh, I make you sound so mean). But it's ok:D Haha, cause you helped me focus on my studies instead of all those weirdweird stuffs:D Haha.

My Weedy Post
Ngiam Chai Yee! Haha, stop smacking people's ahemahem. One day, you'll get your retribution mannnnn. Haha, and stop molesting me. And don't go around molesting innocent people yo! Haha! Siaoness reigns when I'm with you. And that's very very bad:D

2008-11-11T22:21:00.005+08:00

Woah. My friends proved me wrong today. My 15th was awesome:D Thanks a million psb:D

Thank you:
PSB,
Melanie,
Emerald,
Ann,
Weedy,
Hilary,
Jovee,
Ern Huei,
Esther,
Isabel Tang,
Wen Shi,
Sheryl,
Steph Loo,
Renee,
Jie Xi,
Sharon,
Sharmaine,
Olivia,
Lim Pei,
Deanna,
Gracia,
Ximin,
Ying Ching,
Mii Wei,
Serene,
Samantha,
Isabel Lim,
Samuel,
Veda,
Ern Le,
Vivian,
Gina,
Mei Xi,
Chun Yan,
May,
Mae Ann,
Annabelle,
Chu Ning,
RINA:D:D:D
and all the rest who wished me happy birthday:D

2008-11-11T01:51:00.002+08:00

Happy 15th birthday psb! :) Ily bigbig! Must be more matureeeeeeeeee & everything!
You're simply the awesomemest!

Hokay psb! Instead of putting it on my blogg, i shall put it on yours, so you can edit and take out those you dont like!
So sorrrrry dont be angryyyyyyy, you can delete this whole post! i'll write a nicer one!

2008-11-11T00:43:00.003+08:00

Happy birthday psbbbbbbbbbbbb!
Its your 15th birthday! :D

PLEASE BE HAPPYYYYYYYYY.
DONT SOUND SO MONO.
ILY! :D

2008-11-10T22:05:00.002+08:00

"Few more hours being 14"

A whole lot of things which used to matter, just don't matter that much anymore. Maybe they still do, well, then it's just me cause I can't feel it. Which is quite confusing, cause I know how I feel but I'm afraid to face it.

Yea, sometimes you think something gets better everyday, but yet, somehow, it just doesn't.

I'm just grateful, that I don't feel like I'm suffocating anymore.

And suddenly, being 15 doesn't seem exciting anymore. Cause none of it matters, none of it matters now.

2008-11-09T11:23:00.004+08:00

"Long bus rides"

I love long bus rides, because then, I have time to think, and time to reflect on myself. Hehe, and if there is rain, it'd be all the better:D Ok. I'm being weird.

Tell me how my sec 1 posts manages to be so, uh. Weird. Ok. I'm going to test out how many "haha"s can I not say when I'm blogging, since sharon lam's so free to count them.

School's out. Ok, it's a little late. And I miss my friends. I want to go back to school. But then again, I've never felt so free in a long while.

Ok, whatever. I'm being ironic. And my brain's not functioning properly and I can't even seem to type a coherent sentence. Tell me how I'm going to talk about things I think about. Haha, maybe later. But then, I'd forget. Ok. Eileen Chia, stopstopstop. Bye.

2008-11-09T00:17:00.002+08:00

OMG! PSB! YOU SUCK! Fine. I play the game with you. You just wait.

There you go. I still have more. At least, enough to last me for a lifetime.

2008-11-08T22:26:00.001+08:00

3 MORE DAYS TO SOMETHING BIGGGG.
HINTTTT 11/11 :D

2008-11-05T22:42:00.002+08:00

HI EVERYBODY!
PSB'S A MEAN PIG:D

Psb, you want to play? Let the game begin.

2008-11-05T22:30:00.003+08:00

Everyone, 6 more days to something biggggggggggg :D
Hint hint hint.
Heh! I will start dedications soon! So i will post a bigbig fat link here so you can go see, because eileen chia cant erase my blogposts but she can erase this,
ANYWAY. HINT 11/11 HINT :)

Loveeeeeee,
Elizabeth.

[edit]
PSB!!!!!!>< At least post a glammer picture. NOT THIS! OMG! HAHA!
[/edit]

2008-11-05T20:26:00.002+08:00

"Obama:D"

And obviously, Obama won. Haha.

Psb, cheer up:D

I just deleted a whole chunk of what I just typed. Haha, it's way too childish. And immature.

6 days 6 days 6 days. Whoo!

2008-11-04T21:26:00.003+08:00

"Dedication part twooooooooooooooo:D"

Serene: HONEYYYYYY:D You've been a really great cell leader and you're very nice:D Hehe, thanks for reminding me to study and being so encouraging:D Hehe. Whoooo. Hahaha!

Samuel Lee: Eh, see see. Your name's here. Haha. You should go get a wheelchair soon. Later lame until you have to stay on the bed. But irregardless, you're still fun to talk to. Haha! Better feel honoured. Tsk, your name's on my nicenice blog. Haha.

[edit]
tag replies:D
[mel] yeaaaaaaa. Haha. Omg, I still can't believe him. Just one more mark. ONE MORE MARK. OMG.
[Zac] uh, do I even know you?
[Jovee] I missed you toooooo. Haha, I can't wait for tmr
[ern huei] I have no idea.
[Sam] Hahaha! Yeayea.

2008-11-03T22:36:00.002+08:00

"Tag replies"

[hilary] haha, finally eh!
[ghost] uh, who are you?
[Mae-Ann] Oh, shut up. Hurry come back from whatever country you're in now.
[weedy] no worries. Not missing you:D
[ET] haha, uploaded
[ern huei] Whoo, AWESOME:D
[hui ying] Haha, love you too.
[Jiexi] haha, of course. I miss you plenty
[HO!] haha, lai, i miss youuuuuuuuuu.
[xinzhu] hello
[samantha] He so is.
[ET] hah, I think, you see.
[Sharon] Haha, true(: so philosophical:D so you just happily count the number of hahas la! very free hor! HAHA
[samantha] eheh, don't be so greedy ah!
[isabel] haha! no i don't.
[honey] you're serene right? HAHA, yeaaa. i dedicate one bigbig one for you

2008-11-02T23:13:00.005+08:00

"Dedication:D"

I'm gonna be very sweet and dedicate a post to my class and people I love. Haha!

First, to my recess gang/group/clique/or whatever you call it.
PSB: Hello Psb! You've been a very great best friend for the past 6 years(: Haha, 4 more years to go ah! 10 years anniversary. Haha, what should I say? Oh yea. Something that makes your ego go sky high(though I'm pretty sure it is already.) You've been very nice, and nice, and nice. Haha. I've run out of words to say. Plus, I don't want to get all mushy here and turn you into goo. So I shall save that for later. And hurry come back from your camp. IMYVM!

Ern Huei: ONS ah! Haha, who knew you were THAT mature. Haha, anyhow, you've been a really great friend, always reminding me of my embarrassing moments(thanks a lot) and laughing with me over stupid stuff. Haha, Eiffel Tower. The coolest place ever(: And it's so romantic. Haha. And I'll get your future husband to serenade to you. Haha, and of course, the scores will be composed by PSB and me. Haha, don't faint(:

Weedy: Ngiam ah Ngiam, at times, you should really learn to be more demure and civillised(: Uhoh. I don't want to get smacked. So I shall say something nice. You're my happy pill(: And you make me very happy, even when I'm sad. Haha, you never fail to cheer me up, so thanks a lot for that. (: 6th Nov. IMYVM too!

Hilary: Fong, you're back from kunming! Whoo! Haha, we really should go out soon. I miss going out with you and having those bitching sessions. Bitching sessions with you are the bomb! Haha. Go out soon ah! And FYI, it's your turn to update the ABF blog. It's been stagnant for who knows how long. Haha.

Jovee: Gan:D You make me laugh a lot. Haha, thanks for your company and all(: I really appreciate them(: You better know it. And I've never ever gotten to go out with you. Except Mcdonald's, where you gave me your sausage:D Haha. And stop saying that I never stop eating. Haha, I'm a growing girl(:

Valerie: Hello(: Though I'm not really that close to you, but still(: Haha. You've been a very nice friend, like since uh, p3? Haha, I still remember you and your long long fringe. Haha!

Phyllis: Eheheh! Haha, though you're really annoying at times, but you're still very nice(: Haha, and I appreciate that. And I hope you know that(: I miss your annoying-ness. Haha!

Next, to the people in my class.
Melanie: Chan! Haha, you're back from kunming too! Haha! I missed you. Haha, outing soon ah! And we're gonna shock NEK with our amazingggggg music knowledge. Haha!

Mairin: Hello:D We've finally resolved our conflict since p5. Haha. You've been really nice and friendly. Haha(:

Yilin: Haha, you've been a great maths partner. Yay! Haha.

Isobel: My band friend:D

ShuYing: BUMBUM! HURRY COME BACK FROM YOUR CAMP. IMYVM TOO! HAHA.

Deborah: Your choochoo's very entertaining. Do it more often. Haha, I 100% support you.

Sharmaine: Eh! Enough hor! Stop whacking people. Haha!

Santhiya G: Haha, you make me laugh manymany times. Haha, see? I still fail subjects. I'm really not as smart as you think I am. Haha.

Ann: Hello(: Although we don't really talk now(due to some misunderstandings and all), I just want you to know that you're still special. Don't let anybody get you down. IMY.

Trisha: Eh, ZE's hot ok! Stop saying he's gay.

Emerald: Hehe, you and your deepdeep. I shallowshallow you. Haha.

Samantha: Hello, I don't know you that well. But still, I know you're very nice(:

Victoria: I don't know you that well either(: Haha. But from what I can see, you're nice too(:

Jan, Beatrice, Jinting, Julianca, Dawn, Rebekah, Ashley, XinYing, Santhiya A, Wilma, Devi, Janice, Cheryl, Jin Hwee, Vani, Chevonne, Emak, Amanda: Actually ah, Idk you all that well either eh(: Haha, let's hope that we talk more next year so I have more to write about.

To the people who make me laugh during class when we don't have bandings.
Dharsh: My awesome pard! I'm gonna miss you a lot next year. Haha! Let's sit in the same position ok! Then we can always turn arnd and joke with heyong and ern. Haha!

HuiYing: Heyong! Haha, you've been an awesome sub pard. Haha! I know you love your pouch. Continue making them(:

Haha, ok. Done with class dedication. Next, to the people who make me happy:D

Renee: HOOOOOOOO! I enjoyed the date with you! Haha, another date soon ah! Haha! I miss your presence in class): Haha, we must go out as a clique really really soon. IMY

Jie Xi: Hahaha, you're awesomeeeeeee. So so so awesome. Haha, even when I oversleep, you're still awesome. Haha, you're ze bomb. Haha.

Rachel Tay, Harsha: Eh, you two. I miss you all leh! Haha! I want my 07 clique outing soon.

Sharon: Haha, I hope your chicken pox's ok already. Haha, I missed seeing you arnd in school during the last few days. Haha, and I still don't know how to use pejorative. Haha.

Samantha, Hui Ying: Oi, P1 and ah beng. Let's go out soonio. Haha. I miss you two very much.

Ern Le: TROYYYYYY:D Haha, yeaaaaa. You can be my gaymate yo. Haha. Let's sing some more hsm songs to annoy your sis:D Hehe, so funnnn:D

ISABEL LIM SHI RUI: See? I told you. Bigbig one. Haha, yours super special. Haha, you've been an AWESOME church friend. Haha, and I still remember the times where me, you and ern le sing HSM to annoy ern huei. Haha. But ZE's not gayyyyyyyy. Haha, I can't wait for kuching. Then I can play with you:D Haha!

Haha, I'm done with my dedication. If you want one, then tell me. HAHAHA!

2008-11-02T00:41:00.003+08:00

"My dad's very mean"

Haha, I mean, like really mean. I reminded him that in 9 days time, it's gonna be my birthday. And this was our conversation.

"Eh! Not bad. Your drawing improved. Next time can go be artist."
"Really?"
"Yea, you know. You'll be hired to paint the bathroom walls."
"Woah daddy, thanks a lot."
"You're welcome. It's my job to motivate you right! Draw harder."
"Daddy, you're very mean"
"No, I'm not."
"Well, then you better be nice. It's my birthday in 9 days time."
"Yea, in 9 more days, you'll be older. Eh! Jiejie! You're one year closer to being an ahma! Hurry grow up ah! And ah, grow taller. Don't be so short, don't learn from your mum. Must learn from me. *Gives a widewide grin*"

My daddy's the meanest dad on earth. Haha. And he laughed at me for forgetting to bring my key out. Tsk.

2008-10-31T14:41:00.012+08:00

"Because I know you're real"

This week's awfully screwed up. Perhaps everything should just go surreal, then I can slowly dissolve to somewhere where there's nothing.

Random thoughts plaguing me now. This question's been in my head for the longest time, "What am I really good at?" Yea, I understand not everyone can be the next Abraham Lincoln or Michael Phelps. But if not everyone can be, why should anyone be?

I mean, I know, Life isn't fair. But that alone is not enough to atone for the gross unproportionate distribution of talents, money and luck around the world. Why can people like Paris Hilton be allowed to stay in a hotel which costs US$200,00 per night just because she wants to when there are poor people out there in Africa just struggling to snap out of poverty? Why is it that there are people who can score straight As their whole life effortlessly when there are others out there who study so hard just to scrape by to the next level? Are you telling me that by saying "Life is unfair" is enough an explanation for this? Are you telling me, that we should just accept that life is unfair without at least trying to question the rationale behind it all?

Of course, for the people who belong to the group where they are the ones getting the brighter side of life, it would be much easier for them to accept that Life is unfair, since they're the ones getting all the benefits. But for the majority who belong to the other side, is the only way to survive really just to accept all that has been thrown to us until we grow old and die?

You know, being Paris Hilton does not guarantee you a smooth sailing life. But it would definitely make life a whole lot easier. Yeah, "Money does not make the world go round" huh? Well, that's the politically correct way of saying it. In reality, right now, money is in fact, the only way round.

Anyway, back to my point about what I am good at. Honestly, nothing. I dare not say that I am the best at something. I dare not say that I can do something really really well. All my life, I've always been a second. Being second is not a bad thing, I know. But trust me, being second your entire life is definitely frustruating. Being treated like a second your whole life just makes you accept the fact that you are destined for that spot and you should simply pull out a chair and sit in that position forever. Being Second Best, is one of the worse place on earth to be.

2008-10-27T22:22:00.005+08:00

"No matter where life takes us"

Thinking a lot these few days, and this's real bad.

People say disappointment's supposed to make you stronger. But if disappointment avoids me, I'd be thankful, seriously.

And I really should attempt growing up a little. It's time to.

2008-10-26T23:24:00.001+08:00

I'm tired. Really.

2008-10-24T17:48:00.012+08:00

"High School Musical 3"

It turned out to be quite nice:D Nicer than I've expected, although the first part is quite gay and got me and ern laughing in the cinema. Haha. "TROYYYYYYYYYY". I mean, who sings in the middle of a basketball game? And I finally agree with PSB for once. Haha, ZE can be quite hot.

And me and ern crush on like, 10 guys? And we both crush on same people. Haha, ern, that's bad. Must change taste. Haha.

Picturespicturespictures. Longlonglonglong overdue, yes I know. Tsk, PSB. Ha!

PSB's beloved.

(:

PSB has lousy photography skills. Hehe.

This photo rocks cause PSB's not inside:D

Favourite people in school:D

PSB, stop sleeping(:

Last year's clique+renee.

MRT:

PSB, I told you your aiming sucked.

Hello PSB!

And obviously, cool people have good photography skills:D

We got someone to take it for us cause psb's photography skills really suck. Haha.

Wed:

All smiles for todayyyyyy:D

CLIQUE+Hilary:D

Phyllis, this looks damn wrong. Haha!

Since don't know how long ago:

Haha! Grooming workshop:D

Ngiam, I know your leg damn sexy. Haha.

Ok, failed attempt to look sad. Cause psb kept making me laugh.

Process of making a heart. Haha!

"Eh! Enough hor!"

I love my ngiam:D

Eh! Give me back my camera!

Hi Ern Le!

Haha, I love this picture because PSB looks so constipated. Haha. Ok, I'm gonna need earmuffs later.

And this is my favourite partner:D

My date with the ho. Haha. Gelare waffles are nice:D

And this is why I love school:D

BYE:D

P.S. Psb, I didn't post some pictures. Cause I figured you didn't want your unglams up there:D Haha!

2008-10-23T14:17:00.005+08:00

"Last day of school"

It was meant to be a happy day. But then, everywhere I go, I see people crying, because they're gonna be separated from their friends. It's disheartening, really, when I see people cry. But still, I suppose, all these things make people appreciate each other more.

I saw a letter on my table today. And it only contained one line, and four words. Just one line, and four simple, yet heartbreaking words.

"Can you forgive me?"

And I cried, because I couldn't find the words to describe how I felt at that moment. The friendship that I held so close, I realised that I've already lost it, a long time ago. We were much too alike to get along. And yes, sorry might be the greatest paradox for a broken friendship. But we both know it doesn't work like that. We know each other far too well, and I don't want to risk it all and watch everything screw up in front of me again. So before all this crumbles down to nothing, I'm gonna leave it as it is, and pretend that nothing's ever happened. I'm done here.

2008-10-22T19:01:00.003+08:00

"ABCDEFG"

My dad's uber lame. Haha. And he just insulted me. Some kind of dad I have.
Dad "Eileen, you're never ever gonna get married cause you're too annoying"
Haha, daddy, it's ok. I can live off you:D And he threatened to whack me just now. Haha.

"It's ok Eileen. Although she's like my goddaughter, you'll always have a place in my heart."
Haha, my dad's uber drama.

Blah. I'm tired.

Admire the simplicity of this post:D

2008-10-21T23:01:00.004+08:00

"Date with my ho:D"

Hehe. Lai, we didn't plan for a date. But it turned out to be one anyway. Haha.

I enjoy talking to my fbbf/ho/lai because she's so easy to talk to and I can just talk about everything with her. Haha. And the stupid lai said that if she goes out with me too much, she's gonna turn into a pig:D Heh, gelare and minced meat noodles and fries:D Haha. Eh! Gelare waffles half price today ok! And thanks to my quick thinking ok, we got to stay in macs! Unless we'd be chased out of macs, which isn't very, uh. Nice. Haha. Scissors paper stone to see who will eat the paper. Lai, you lost. Haha, but you didn't eat it. *sticksouttongue* Ok, I sound like a primary school kid. But that's what I become when I'm around my friends. Haha!

School sucks. Well, when has it ever not sucked? Whatever. Say whatever you want. I'm done here. Bye.

2008-10-20T16:19:00.008+08:00

"For blue skies"

Ok, tag replies first:D
[mel(:] Haha, that's why. And when has Ngiam ever been glam?
[samantha] Haha, just admit the fact that you have the "I'm a bad girl" face.
[weedy] OMG, Weedy, just shut up. I was just about to praise you for being nice, and there you go again. Haha. Love you too(:
[Hui Ying] Ok, that's it. You suck. Haha.
[ET] Hah, ern always looks scary.
[mel] Eh! Make me sound like some abuser!
[JOVEE] Hey gan!
[samantha] Haha? (:
[ET] Eh, I'm training you for loanshark course!
[Ann] Haha
[ern huei] Whee! Haha, I have like, a major crush on him now.
[weedy] Hey(: Haha. Of course you do:D
[FBBF] LAIIIIII! I MISS YOU! Haha, you want me to cheer up around her? Impossible. Heart to heart talks soon!

I dread Mondays. I found out lots of gossips today, haha. So it makes today not so bad. Hehe, that makes me sound like a bitch.

Many things in this world's uncomprehendable. When you search too much, know too deep, you'll find that the answers you want, are answers you'd never wanted to know. At the end of the day, you'd be left with even more questions, that are close to impossible to answer. Since we all know that the answers we are searching for are answers we don't want to know, then why bother? Why waste your time? It beats me, how we, human beings manage to be so, utterly ignorant.

Ok, so what now? Let everything sink down even more? Sorry, I don't like to see that. Perhaps, now everything will just disintegrate? Well, have fun with your life, I have nothing more to say. And I don't want to pin my hopes on this anymore. Because I know that once I get my hopes up, I'll be terribly let down again.

2008-10-17T21:06:00.002+08:00

"Road to self actualization"

Ok, fine. I was mean. Let's just drop it. I'm sorry for passing judgments. But I couldn't help myself. I'm really really sorry.

Term 4 week 6. 2 more weeks to go. I don't want to watch everything screw up again.

2008-10-15T15:52:00.002+08:00

"I know that God is in control"

Eileen is happy today. And she has a reason to be happy(: Because God took away all her burdens:D

Neigh. I wanted to sound like a horse:D And it's official. I can't take carving as my job when I grow up. I can't carve for nuts. Haha. "Uh oh. I carved out again." was my favourite phrase of the day. Ok, at least for that period. Heh.

My family's nuts:D Haha. But I still love them bigbig. Cause my dad's very hilarious with all his nonsense, my mum's really encouraging and my brothers love annoying me(and my brother loves to compare height with me. Please don't grow taller.) Haha. Yay to my family:D

Honestly, you and me. Oh, what a feeling. (:

2008-10-14T01:05:00.003+08:00

Pardon me. I have to rant.

-edited-

Cause I sounded stupid and childish and unforgiving and blah. You get the idea

2008-10-13T21:21:00.004+08:00

"Supercalifragilistic"

Haha. And finally, we have one decent picture, and we both have ANGULAR SHAPED FACE. Haha. Wow. Lol.

School's ok. Grooming lessons were fun. Haha.

P.S. I'm too lazy to rotate. Go rotate your head or your computer:D

2008-10-12T14:18:00.005+08:00

"Turns out not where, but who you're with that really matters"

And that's the quote Ann has(:

It's true, because no matter where I am, I always have friends that make me very happy. And they never judge me and let me be who I am:D

And Ann requested for an Ann post. Haha, so here it is.

Ann, you are special:D

Tada! Hehe!

[edit]
Please, stop all that you're doing now. I'm really tired of all this. I can't afford to get hurt again.
[/edit]

2008-10-11T22:57:00.003+08:00

"3B2 2009, Here I come(:"

Results were all out ytd. I couldn't be bothered to ask for marks. Especially from -. I mean. Who would ask for marks if for only 1 mark, you get scolded upside down, inside out?

I guess my results weren't all that fantastic, but I should be grateful. Though I was horribly disappointed in myself. Suddenly, the prospect of me retaining, seems ever so suffocating.

But still, my Psb's the greatest best friend on earth. She's always been listening to my rantings and being there for me(: I love spending time with her cause her every action makes me laugh, every word she says, I'll smile to myself, and everything she does for me, makes me appreciate her even more. And the best thing is, she's always so honest with me, because there are quite a number of times where I have lost myself in midst of all those confusions, and she's always been there to give me my wake up call and snap me out of my reverie. And I love conversations with her cause they make me smile like a looney to myself. Haha.

Eileen says:
and pastor said, "every good friend you have is the grace of god"
Elizabeth says:
ITS NICE. THE SONG :D
Elizabeth says:
I LIKE.
Eileen says:
so, you're the grace of god
Eileen says:
and i love you
Eileen says:
haha
Elizabeth says:
lol thats true! i totally agree, hahaha
Elizabeth says:
you're the grace of god too! :D Im super uber glad to have a best friend like you! Wo ai ni! dada!

Haha, ok. Bye(:

2008-10-09T21:52:00.000+08:00

"Friends Forever"

Clique:D(plus hil and valerie) Hello dearest-s, you guys made me happy todayyyyy. Haha. Yesss. Hilary. You too. Cause you're also in the clique. Haha. And Phyllis, this is the first time you've ever made me happy:D And Valerie, thank you very much also. Haha.

Mel's the best. haha! Thank you you guys:D I love you all bigbig! Hehe.

Results suck, but I still have my friends. Haha. Ok. Whatever. Bye!

P.S. Weedy made me very happy todayyyyyyyyyy!

2008-10-08T16:08:00.009+08:00

"Day at school"

Hello Ngiam, you're very "glam". Hehe!

Hahaha, yes. Eileen is unglam. But that's not the point. The point is, we look like clowns from the circus, especially with ngiam's face inside. Haha.

The 2 awesome people who forgot to take pictures with me and ern. Hehe. Ngiam and Psb should go for some unglam competition. Heh. Ngiam, please don't kill me.

Ngiam and Tan.

Tsk, Heyong, you're damn mean.

Hehehe!

Ngiam and Dharsh!

Favourite people in school:D

This picture gives me a very magical feeling. Haha.

Ngiam, we look like babies.

Hi Rina. I miss you.

Pictures at night are DAMN cool. Haha.

This was taken like, eons ago. Haha.

Hello Ern Huei! Sticking out tongue is cool:D

So all in all, we are a great big happy family:D

Byeeeeeeee(:

2008-10-07T20:42:00.003+08:00

"Drown yourself in unknown topic sentence"

It scares me the way I somehow classify all these as negligible. I can't let it happen over again. I can't afford to let it.

P.S. I miss you, I really do.

tag replies
[weedy] Haha! Yea la!
[ET] Psb, whatever. HAHAHA!
[YanYi] Hello(: Haha! Who wouldn't be happy that exams are over?
[mel(:] Wow. Thanks a lot ah! Haha! You're telling the whole world that I stone during music paper.
[SHU:D] Yes shu, of course! Distinction yo! HAHAHA!
[Mae-Ann] Yeayea, whatever ASL. Haha. You were SUANNING ME AT THAT TIME, my dear. Haha!
[WANJUN] Haha. Ok.
[Sam] Haha(: Go and study then. Hehe.
[samantha] Yes p1, I'll link you. Haha!
[weedy] Wow, ngiam, thanks a lot. You still suck more(:
[olivia] Hi lim!
[Hui Ying] Haha. Wow. Ah beng, loanshark nehxzxzxz. iie where g0t 0we euu 50 bucks euu cheater. Haha. Ok. OMG! Stop. Hehe.
[shangzhi] Haha(:
[samantha] Haha! When are you ever not bored?
[Hui Ying] OMG! Gross shit. What corset? HAHAHA! I didn't know you stalk me until like that. Eww! And I don't wear corsets. Must be you think too much. Haha!

2008-10-05T20:30:00.002+08:00

"Hehehe!"

1.What's the connection between you and the last person that called you?
My brother.

2. Do you ever turn your cell phone off?
Yea. When psb force me to.

3. What happened yesterday night?
My memory only goes as far back as what I just ate.

4. When did you last cry?
I can't remember.

5. What is your favorite thing to eat with peanut butter?
Ehh?

6. What do you want in your life right now?
I want many things. Ok. Actually, I don't know.

7. Do you carry an umbrella when it rains, or just put up your hood?
None. I love walking in the rain:D

8. What's your favorite thing to have on your bed?
Bolster :D

9. What bottom are you wearing now?
Fbts

10. Whats the nicest text in your inbox say?
"Jia you! You can do it!! I love you! :D" Haha! It's times like this when stupid rina makes me laugh.

11. Do you tend to make relationships complicated?
I don't think so.

12. Are you wearing anything you borrowed from someone?
Nope.

13. What was the last movie you caught?
I can't remember.

14. What are you proud of?
Everything?

15. What does the oldest text message in your inbox say?
"Haha congrats" Wow. Psb, very fresh. Hehe.

16. What was the last song you sang out loud?
Haha. Ask Ern Huei. She'll tell you, gladly.

17. Do you have any nicknames?
Like tons and dozens.

18. What does your last received text message say?
"Heh. Agreed. xD so sick manz"

19. What time did you go to bed last night?
12? I can't remember.

20. Are you currently happy?
I guess so? Actually not really. Okay, mixed feelings

21. Who gives you best advice?
Uh?

22. Do you eat whipped cream straight from the can?
Yea. Sometimes.

23. Who did you talk with on phone last night?
Psb(:

24. Is anything bugging you right now?
Yeh, tons of stuff actually

25. What/Who was the last thing/person to make you laugh?
My dad. Haha.

26. Do you wear toe socks?
Nope.

27. Who was the last person you missed a call from?
My brother.

28. Have you ever had your heart broken?
I don't think so?

29. What annoys you most in a person?
I have no idea. Depends on my liking towards that person I guess, like if I don't like her, I don't like practically everything bout her.

30. Do you have a crush on anyone?
Hahahahahahaha

31. Have you ever done cocaine?
Nahh

32. What is the colour of your room?
Green. I'm environmentally friendly you see(:

33. Would you kill someone you hate for a billion dollar?
I'm like a super loving person(:

34. Do you believe in the saying "talk is cheap"?
Sometimes.

35. Who was the last person to lay in your bed?
Me laa, who else

36. Who was the last person to hug you?
Psb? Or was it Chan. I forgot. Haha!

37. What do you want to say to the person you have a crush on?
Huh?

38. Do you have a life?
Duh!

39. Have you ever think someone died, when they really didn't?
Hahahahahah like super many times

40. What is the reason behind your profile song?
What profile song?

41. Who was the last person you saw in your dream?
I can't even remember what I dreamt of.

42. Last time you smiled?
I think I smile 24/7. hahahahahah

43. Have you changed this year?
I guess so.

44. What are you listening to right now?
My brother speaking in his baby language. Hahahahahaa

45. Are you talking to someone when you doing this?
Yeh

46. Do you walk with your eyes open or closed?
OPENED DUH

47. Is there a quote you live by?
Not in particular. Why?

48. Do you want someone you can't have?
Hahahaha! Nope.

49. Have you ever played an instrument?
Yes

50. What was the worst idea you've had in the week?
I don't think I've got bad ideas, ha ;D

51. What were you doing last night at 11.00pm?
Computer.

52. Are you happy with your love life right now?
HAHAHAHAHAHA!

53. What song describe your love life?
???

54. Does the person know that you like him/her?
Huh?

55. Who always make you laughs?
Clique la dey!

56. Do you speak other language other than English?
Yehh, I'm chinese(:

57. Are you blonde?
No.

58. What your middle name?
Don't have middle name

59. What are you doing tomorrow?
Sleep throughout? Ha! I wish.

60. What do you think you are like?
I think I'm like the sunnnnn! Cos i like YELLOW! Hahahahahahah:D

61. Who will you choose to die with?
When I die then I tell you.

62. Where have you been today?
Causeway point, uncle's house, home, downstairs

63. What game do you play often?
Some lame games. Haha.

64. Who are you missing right now?
hahahahah

65. If you've to choose between friend & love, who will you choose?
Both la both laaaa

66. What are you doing right now?
this quiz

67. Which primary school are you from?
PL Pri

68. Name 3 colours that you like.
Red, orange, yellow

69. What emotion you like to show?
:D

70. What is life to you?
24/7 of fun, laughter, peace, and joyyyyy!

71. If you have something troubling you, what will you do?
I'll find Psb! I can never keep something to myself cause I'll like burst and malfunction. Haha

72. Who did you last chat in msn today?
I didn't go online today. Haha!

73. Who do you admire the most?
Nobody?

74. Which month are you born in?
Novemberrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

75. How are you feeling right now?
Normal.

76. What is the time now?
8.57

77. Where are you now?
Balcony

78. What colour did you use to dye hair?
Never dyed hair

79. Why are you doing this test?
I like answering stupid questions idk why(:

80. What do you do when you're moody?
When i get moody then i tell y kay

81. At which age you wish to get married?
I don't know.

82. Who is most important to you?
Dad, mum, brothers, psb, ern...... AIYA! A LOT LA!

83. Do you think you have enough confidence?
Depends

84. Who is the person you trust the most?
-

85. Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after a rain?
Yea. Like how you always see a light at the end of a tunnel.

86. If you can have a dream come true, what would it be?
All my dreams to come true laaa:D

87. What is your goal for this year?
-

88. Do you believe in eternity love?
Yeh

89. What do you love?
Pretty things, like I'm thinking of my going-to-be-new-phone now

90. Do you really think its Global Warming now?
Yes right? But its raining now

91. What feeling you hate the most?
Loneliness, damn shit. Haha. Pardon the expletives

92. Do you cherish every single friendship of yours?
I try to.

93. Do you believe in God?
Yehh

94. Who cares for you the most?
Everybody haaa:D

95. What do you think is the most important thing in your life?
I don't know, seriously.

96. Do you hate this quiz?
Nahh(:

97. What have you regretted doing in your whole life?
Many things

98. What would you feel if no one no longer cares for you?
Hahahahaha idk why but this question just made me laugh. Maybe a i-want-my-mummy kinda feeling(:

99. What if your stead two-timed you?
BYEBYEASSHOLE

100. Who would u sabo next?
I'm like a super nice and loving person, no sabo-ing, world peaceeeeeee:D

So. This is what I do when I'm bored. HAHAHA!

2008-10-04T13:30:00.003+08:00

"There's alot of wonder left inside of me and you"

I need time to stop. Like now. Immediately, whatever. This is the first time I've ever wanted things to slow down, or maybe, just come to a stop.

Everything is so transcient and words are thrown around too lightly. If this is another game you're playing, count me out. Do me a favour. Spare a thought for me.

2008-10-03T20:36:00.004+08:00

"Do you remember?"

Inadequate yet able to brag about these inadequacies. You're such a fool, Eileen.

2008-10-02T18:10:00.003+08:00

"Time."

You never realize how much you value it, how much you need it, until you run out of it. There is no such thing as too much time. There is no such thing as enough time. Because when it happens, it takes you by surprise. It yanks you by the collar, crashes into you, headlights and sad lights, and then you don’t have it anymore. And then, you're there, lost. And you hope, even if you’re not hopeful. And you breathe, even if you feel like dying. And you love, even if you’re alone. Somewhere, a clock is always ticking.

And right now, I really need more time. I'm too caught up in the past and time's not doing me any favour. It's passing way too fast. So fast, I can't possibly catch up with it. So fast, I really feel nothing. So fast, that I'm slowly losing myself.

Help.

2008-10-02T12:15:00.000+08:00

"Don't sail away"

Why did you lie? I don't understand. I really don't. If you'd told me the truth sooner, it wouldn't have hurt so much.

Nobody wins this time.
I can't comprehend. I really can't.

2008-10-01T15:21:00.002+08:00

"ASDFJKL"

OHMYMOMMA! EILEEN CHIA LOST HER EZLINK! WHOOPSIDOOOOOOOOO! When my mum knows about it, I'm gonna be killed. Like slaughtered. And you can hear barney theme song being played, courtesy of Mae-Ann. !#$%^&*(

Meanwhile, while I'm not killed, I'll try to enjoy life. (like that's even possible) GAHHHHHH!

2008-09-30T15:41:00.004+08:00

"Freedom at last"

Whoo! EOYs are finally over. Time for self indulgence:D And I'll tear, shred, bite all my notes and throw it into bedok reservoir or something. Wait. I think I'll just chuck them down the toilet bowl, especially music.

Anyway, this EOYs is really screwed, because I didn't study. No. Actually I did. But well, my studying compared to ern huei's studying is nothing. Because I just flip through the freaking textbook while she goes into detail for every single thing. Hehe. And before every exam, Psb and I will go on a laughing streak. Heh. And then, we'd forget everything that we learnt, and during exam, our reaction, or rather, mine, would be "oh shit". Haha.

Review, review, review.
English compo was well. It rendered me speechless. Because I didn't have a single thing to write!
Chinese compo was like what I said, a waste of my time. I could've spent this time to study my geog.
Geog. How in the world was I supposed to know that natural vegetation would be much much easier than rivers and coast. So tadaaaaaaaaa! Plus all those careless mistakes, geog's a gone case.
Lit. My brain just didn't want to process properly. It didn't even allow me to think about all those points about Atticus. Sheesh.
Maths. Well. I don't have to say anything more, do I? It is screwed.
SS. I didn't even have time to complete the freaking paper. Lesson learnt: Write faster.
Amaths. Alphabeta, surds, log, matrices, bionomial, whatever. I left like, I don't know how many questions blank. Hahaha! I know it isn't something to joke about. But I'm just laughing about it cause if I didn't, I'd probably cry. So pardon me.
English. It was ok.
Physics. Don't even talk about it. If anyone even talks to me about this, emath and amath, I'd probably cry in front of them or punch the daylights out of them.
Chinese. I had half an hour to sleep.
Chem. It was manageable. Though I know I could've done better if I didn't make so much careless mistakes.
MCQ. Tikam tikam(:

During music exam today, chan couldn't stop laughing at me. AND I DON'T KNOW WHY! And then, halfway during the exams, I needed to pee real badly. So I asked for permission. And Mr Ng said this very weird thing that made me go "whatever". Like hellooooooo. People have better things to do other than sitting on the toilet bowl READING NOTES. And chan was laughing at me because. I DON'T KNOW WHY! And I'm real sure that Mr Ng cheated me of my 2 minutes. I didn't believe that 2 minutes would pass so slowly. And so I commented on that, and chan laughed at me, again. AND I STILL DON'T KNOW WHY!

Chan loves to laugh at me. No matter what I do, it's always "hahaha! chia! hahaha" and I'll go "huh?" and she'll start laughing again. !#$%^&*

I'm beginning to love using simple words. Haha. I'm blogging like this because my brain juice's all used up and I'm too lazy to think of big words. Hehe.

Maybe the next time, I'll start using chim-nalogy again(: Haha.

Till then, byeeeeeeeeee!

P.S. This is a happy post:D

2008-09-29T17:46:00.003+08:00

"And the things on earth will grow strangely dim"

Change is too often, sometimes too often for me to handle. Is this what we meant when we said we'd never forget?

Escape.

2008-09-28T10:48:00.002+08:00

"Happy Birthday Ern Huei"

Hoihoi! You're finally 15 yo! Fine la. Leave me alone to be 14 years old. Sheesh. ANYWAY, one more year till you can watch NC16! I bet you're so excited right! HAHA! Aiya. Your birthday's today already. Tomorrow cannot tease you about it anymore. Heh. Grow more mature ah! And you must be demure and gentle like MEEEEEE! HAHA! This is so lame. Chem paper tomorrow. Thanks a lot ern, one day after your birthday. --" Hehe. You've been a very tolerant and patient friend to me. Haha! And your "ONS". Hehe. Physics law is applicable to this. Haha! And when me and psb talk about some topic(hehe), you always have that shut up face. Who knew that this time round, you'd be the one starting it? HAHA! Anyway, it's your day today. And since you've been bugging us about it, so......

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ERN HUEI!

Purple and royal-ish:D HAHA

Byeeeee.

P.S. My brain's saturated with chem notes. Now I have to crystallize it and during the exam, I have to filter everything out. HAHA!

2008-09-26T13:09:00.003+08:00

"Rain, rain, go away"

The rain, which usually cheers me up, only managed to spoil my day today. Because of it, I was almost late for school.

EOYs have never been so screwed. I guess my complacency and restlessness made it hard for me to focus and really study. I was thinking. If I really did study, I could've done all those questions. Somehow, I don't feel scared. I don't know why. Usually, I'll freak out, and start whining. Now, I'm so indifferent towards it. I really should reflect on myself. If I fail this EOYs, I really don't know what to do. All that's registered in my brain are nothing but pure crap. I really should've studied harder. I really should have.

On a lighter note, lai's really funny. And I enjoy those walks with Psb and ern huei. We always have so much to talk about. Hehe. Psst. "ONS"(:

Ern Huei started it. Not us. We just applied physics law to it(: Haha!

[edit]
tag replies.
[Ann] Haha! HURRY GO AND BOOK LA!
[olivia] HAHAHA! Yes!
[YanYi] Hello
[Ann] Must sound professional.
[olivia] Hahaha!
[ern huei] Shut up! 2 more days to what hur?
[SHU] Haha! Of course! Grade 8 yo! Haha! Distinction all the way!
[weedy] Haha! Ngiam you ego shit. Who want to miss you!
[hilary] Fong, just admit the fact that you're short!
[Ann] Wahlao! Her ego's just boosted sky high.
[Weedy] Yeayea. Haha. I saw it
[ET] Haha! Spamming is uh. Fun?
[veda] Haha. ok.
[ern huei] Excuse me? Who started it? Haha

2008-09-23T14:29:00.002+08:00

"Can I Have This Dance?"

No Ann, you may not. This is the worst song. That is composed. Ever.

Ok. The main point is not this. The main point is, We have NINE freaking more papers to go. WOWEE!

English. compo. is. screwed.
Chinese. compo. is. a. waste. of. my. time. (You'd think so too if you had 1 hour 5 minutes to SLEEP!)
Geog. is. super. screwed.
Lit. Don't. even. talk. about. it.

So that sums up EOYs so far. There's still SS and Emaths tomorrow. Hi everybody, you can watch eileen screw up.

EOYs aside, let's talk about happy things!

I like walking home with psb and ern huei because we always manage to somehow, become primary school kids again. Hehe. Psb's a lousy supporter. She just made me fall. On the ground. *Round of applause for her* And we walked home while listening to the gross song and many other songs. Hehe. Enchanted yo. "whoo" heh. And Ellsworth. Oi. You two. After EOYs, we go karaoke and watch HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL 3!

And Trisha and I agreed. When it comes out, we're all gonna go watch it together to laugh at it. Yes Ngiam. That includes you. I'm very sure, that throughout the whole show, Ann and psb will be the only ones intrigued by it while we just laugh at the stupid cast and stupid plot. Haha!

I'm off to study. Byeeeeee!

So much for my hiatus. Well, here goes nothing!

P.S. Ern Huei, 2 am ok!

2008-09-19T15:55:00.005+08:00

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY HILARY!"

Hehehe! Hilary, Happy birthday! Enjoy your 15th birthday yo! And I wish with all my heart that you'll grow taller. (I know you wish for that too, so you can be international volleyball player!) Hilary's hot(for today only). Please grow more mature. And stop conspiring with ern to suan me. Like helloooo! My maturity level's quite high ok! Hehe. And, I hope that you and your teddy bear will hurry meet! I haven't see her yknow! Haha. But anyway, it's your day. And since you've been reminding us that your birthday's today(Stupid ego sky high freak:D ). Like since Monday, so......

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HILARY! WE LOVE YOU!
(Link back to main point. Compo, 100/100. And, I bet your ego's high like anything now(: )

2008-09-16T15:17:00.009+08:00

"And hold nothing back"

I've made a very important decision today. And it's my secret. Heehee.

Not for once, that I'm able to think less. Nothing was made clearer through words. And actions always bring unwanted misunderstandings. Today, I felt as if we were back to square one. I'm just recovering from your lies. I'm not going to let you bring me down again. I promised myself that I won't. I'm not gonna let you treat me as a substitution again. I'm your friend, not your last resort.

And you know what? I'm gonna hold my head up. I'm going to just let go of everything, and hold nothing back. But it's getting hard. Because today, you just proved that you won't change. In fact, you did things, that probably allowed me to despise you more. And me, trying to convince myself that this's all supposed to be, is kind of getting old.

Alright. I'll try not to blog till EOYs are over. The prospect of having a neglected blog is so abstract. Teehee.

Till my conscience next permits me.

Love,
Eileen.

2008-09-14T14:34:00.003+08:00

"ANN LIM LIN!"

Many unexpected things happened this week. But I'm super determined not to let that get me down or affect my EOYs or anything else for that matter. And this shall be my last post till after EOYs end, I hope. Heh.

Haha! Ann is the awesome-er person on earth. Why? Because I'm the awesome-est. Haha! Uh oh. Ann, please don't kill me. Hehe. Apparently, Ann made my ego fly up high high in the air. She say I very philosophical ok! And, I spent 2 hours talking to her on the phone. From now, I can be very sure, that Ann can go be a comedian when she grows up. Heh.

"Anyw this is Eileen's post. As in,It's meant for Eileen. HI EILEEN CHIA YILIN, I LOVE YOU BIG BIG, WO AI NI DA DA, I'm sorry I accidentally whacked your face w th umbrella today I didn't know it was that long! Anyw YES WE CAN CONFERENCE IN THIRTY MINUTES,With Hilary th Hot! Hahahahahah Eileen I'll say this t make y happy okay! EILEEN YOU VERY PRETTY. I CANNOT TAKE IT. Why y so pretty? SEE MY POST SO LOVELY, DEDICATED TO YOU AS PROMISED! Be happy!"

And so, this made me super happy for a while, in a loooooooooong time. Haha. And while talking to her, we came to a conclusion of our awesome clique. I shall just kope(sp?) everything from her, since I'm too lazy to type it out.

"So I was on th phone w Eileen till 1, I was laughing like shit because apparently her ego's veh big. And we've come t a conclusion that th people in our clique, All like that.
Ern Huei: All rounder, Super smart, She's really veh musically inclined, She's quite pretty too!And she's veh nice and funny.
ET: This one don't need t say ah, Just look at her face and y know she's veh blur! Hahahah at least she's damn cute!
Weedy Ngaim: This one veh Idk what t say. She looks like a care bear. At first she's really veh veh pretty but after y get t know her, Y know she's not demure. Okay please don't kill me for this.
Hilary: Well,What can I say? H is for Hilary's Hot! Awesome shitass.
Eileen: This one forever ego high like siao, Musically inclined as well. We are all going t Ellsworth, Kansas veh soon don't miss us okay!
Yes,So this are th most awesome people in our class.I FORGOT TO ADD IN MY NAME.Neh mind, Eileen y can add in my name when y blog about me. (YOU BETTER!-Gives y death stare)"

And I shall add Ann inside. --"
Ann: She's very retarded and funny. And apparently, her voice is so sharp that it can break a glass with a frequency of 1000 Mhz. (See? I'm applying physics here) She is also very nice. And well, she cannot aim properly. But it's ok. Ann, our clique is the "cannot aim at all", "super ego", "happy go lucky" clique. Haha. And she is very happy because I said that she's pretty. Haha.

Ann. Remember ah! Monday. Our secret plan. If plan A fails, go straight to plan B. If plan B fails, go straight to plan C. If plan C fails, we can all die together. Hehe.

I have to STUDY. Heh. Bye.

P.S. Psb, Renee says you look quite pretty in a tube and she commented about your brother. Haha.

2008-09-12T16:45:00.004+08:00

"It's all coming down to a point"

People change. Yes. But I didn't expect people to change so much. It's scary, really. How much they can change within such a short period of time. Sometimes, when people think that things are simple, they are actually not. Because, as simple as it can be, human beings tend to make things complicated. They like to make things complicated. They think, it is fun. Being caught in a whirlpool like that. When people gets hurt, who really does win? Nobody.

Right now, all I can do is to watch everything fade away. All those people who are close to me, are slowly drifting away. Talk about how absence makes the heart grow fonder. I think, absence, makes a person much more superficial. And it's not like I didn't try. I really tried. But I'm only human. I get tired. It gets really tiring, when you get nothing out of it. Maybe, I shouldn't even bother trying to figure all this out. Sometimes, I look at them, and I wonder what this could have been, if I had started it out correctly.

There are times when I really want an answer. But with one eye closed, I can pretend I didn't see a single thing. I'm happy, really.

2008-09-11T21:20:00.003+08:00

"When it all fades"

I want to tell 2 people something. Let's call them A and B.

A; I suppose, as time passes, we've sort of drifted from each other. Not physically. I don't know. Emotionally, I think. I've got to be the stupidest person to ever let you go. Now, you have your own schedule, and I've got mine. And somehow, I don't feel that we're as close as before. Perhaps you've realised that too. Whatever it is, I hope we can get through this together. I love you. I really do.

B; Thank you for always being there for me. You've been such a great best friend. I couldn't ask for anyone better. You've always been there for me, even when I become a spoilt brat. Today's really funny. It's through times like this, that makes me appreciate you even more. And though you've failed to make me go home, I appreciate the effort(: I really didn't expect you to be so firm. Haha. Guess crying a little in front of you made you soften up. Geez. Should try that more often. Thank you so much for everything. I love you.

School's pretty. Eventful today. I really appreciate my awesome friends. They tried to make me go home, but apparently, they failed.

Being sick makes me realise a lot of things. I don't think this is the best place to say this, but I have to. If not, I'll scream, seriously.

If you really are my friend, you wouldn't do this to me. Somehow, I'm sick of all this. Really sick. First you assumed something, then get all mad at me. What kind of friend does that? I tried to explain. But you can't be bothered, even to listen, can you? Have you ever spared a thought for my feelings? I somehow doubt so. Maybe, I should just keep quiet like I've always been. Maybe, my opinions don't matter at all. Maybe. Just maybe. Hopefully not.

EOYs are just round the corners. Like. 10 more days. I've got to work really really hard.

Nobody wins this time.
I can't comprehend. I really can't.

2008-09-10T21:24:00.003+08:00

"Don't. Fall. Sick."

Trying to convince myself not to fall sick. But, it's all in vain. It's such a crucial period. Oh bother. Why did it have to happen to me now? It sucks you know. Vomiting upside down, inside out. And I don't feel like eating either. I want to sleep. But I have my homework. But I am very tired. And I don't feel like doing them. Goodness gracious. I'm being nonsensical here. I cannot sleep. I have to finish my homework. Oh gosh.

I COMMAND EVERYONE WHO IS READING THIS POST TO PRAY FOR ME EVERY 30 MINUTES! HAHAHA! KIDDING(:

2008-09-10T15:23:00.008+08:00

"11 more days"

Oh bother. EOYs. It's gonna be so screwed. My past three terms' results ain't that spectacular either. Well, mainly due to the fact that I persisted in the mindset that EOYs would pull me up. Guess that compromised my efforts. It won't happen again, I hope. I really have to work hard now. But everything's just so hard. I really really don't want to study. I'm feeling so restless nowadays. That's bad.

Suddenly I feel like I have a thousand and one things to do and I'm sick of making lists of things I'll never finish. You know, I don't really say it but sometimes I'm really afraid. Sometimes things are so routined that I don't even feel anything at all; I'm just going though the motions. I don't know why I'm doing it, all I know is I need to, I need to and I need to.

Chapel today. The message really struck me. It's times like this where I'm really awed by God. They talked about facing the giants in our lives. But I didn't really pay much attention in chapel. It saddens me that I didn't even bother trying. I was too distracted. And then, cell. We talked and evaluated about the cell group, and we shared a lot of things. There's this verse, that we shared during cell group in class. I locked it somewhere at the back of my mind, not really taking it to heart. Now that I remember it, it suddenly means so much more.

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you
and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

And again, it hits me. What can I possibly say?

I need to reflect on myself. I need to go back to God.

And I will be still, know you are God.

Sheesh. So much for my hiatus.

Tag replies.
[sheryl] Heh(:
[ET] Haha! Psb, I hope you grow to be a mature young lady. "Can I have one more piece?" Tsk.
[RINA] Hello
[Sam] I have no idea. Haha!
[SHU:D] Shu ah! I bet she loves that post a lot.
[Ann] Can we go now, instead of after Os? Please?
[olivia] Hello(:
[weedy] Ngiam, what's your problem? What's with the quotation missy? (:
[Sharon] Oi. Can one ok! Ok. Replying you kinda defeats the purpose of hiatus. Hey! How was I supposed to know what time? Ok. Well. Maybe that tag is to wish you all the best for your results :D I'm a master at giving excuses. Heh.

2008-09-08T15:39:00.007+08:00

"Monday Blues"

Celebrated psb's birthday today. Kinda screwed up though. Heh.

Anyway, we didn't touch the cake till school ended. And after school ended, everyone were rushing to go home and nobody wanted to eat the cake. And so, the 3 musketeers, me, psb and ernhuei ate the cake till we have abt like 1/4 of the cake left. Sheesh. We're gonna grow fat. Sharms thought we were some monster cause we were just gobbling the cake. Haha! And psb always says this line "Can I have one more piece?" And so, me and ern huei, being the nice people we are, compromised with her till we all got sick of the cake. And psb has 2 more cakes at home. Psb, I wish you all the best. You're gonna get sick of cakes from tomorrow onwards. Heh.

And I'm gonna copy this whole excerpt from elizabeth tan. (:

"Really great, thanks! During recess, clique tried to celebrate my birthday for me! haha i was eating my food & ann & ngiam smakced whipped cream on me, the cake was left there, heh then had chem prac. Although the celebration was a JUSTTT a little screwed up, haha thanks for everything! love you guys! (L)
Then after school, ate the whole cake with psb & ern huei. We ate like. 3/4? Or something, psb can eat alotalot. hahah ern & i got super sick of the cake. heh! Not bad! We can go for eating competitions. heh our famous line was : I want to eat one more piece. And we would fight over the cake, heh! Super retard, but fun."

Haha. Spending time with the 2 of them's fun. Just like the good old days. Heh.

Whatever. Bye.

P.S. I didn't complete my homework!!! HAHAHA!
P.P.S. I've been blogging real often. I should stop before I turn into a cyber freak. Oh whatever. I'll be on hiatus till the end of EOYs. Oh. Fat hope.

2008-09-07T16:44:00.002+08:00

"Last day of holiday"
Hahaha. Omg! It's the last day of holiday and I haven't completed a single work. Well. Not exactly. I finished SOME. SOME. And the best part is, I haven't even started on revision. Oh well. I'll start soon. I'm a very busy person.
And just when I thought I've just gotten myself out of studying, this quote comes up.

'99% of the failures come from people who have the habit of making excuses'.

SHUT UP. I'M DOING THE BEST THAT I CAN ALREADY. I cannot be stress because when I get stressed, I get mad. And when I get mad, I become very moody. And when I am moody, I glare at little children who bumps into me by accident. I curse the elderly who walked too slowly in front of me. I roll my eyes at someone who simply looked in my direction.

When I am in a bad mood, I am unreasonable.

When I am in a bad mood, I hate myself.

SO, I will try very hard to keep my moods up because that's the only way that wouldn't hurt the people around me. (:

Excuses, excuses. Oh well. Haha. Imma attempt to do my work. Byeee.

2008-09-07T08:29:00.002+08:00

"SMILEY"

I have a lot of interesting friends. HAHA!
self explanatory.

eileen((: says:
go for whatttt
Let's spend the whole day, enjoying tauhuey says:
be in the photo lor
eileen((: says:
haha
eileen((: says:
no lor
eileen((: says:
i bet you wanna see my pretty face
eileen((: says:
haha
Let's spend the whole day, enjoying tauhuey says:
go lehhhhhhh
Let's spend the whole day, enjoying tauhuey says:
ya la ya la

eileen((: says:
olivia wanna see my pretty face
eileen((: says:
haha
Let's spend the whole day, enjoying tauhuey says:
yea so u shd go

eileen((: says:
because ah.
eileen((: says:
you see.
eileen((: says:
band photo
eileen((: says:
so small
eileen((: says:
how can see my pretty face?
Let's spend the whole day, enjoying tauhuey says:
tsk go la go la
Let's spend the whole day, enjoying tauhuey says:
still can see
eileen((: says:
hahaha
Let's spend the whole day, enjoying tauhuey says:
cuz ur face v outstanding, so no matter how small, also can see
eileen((: says:
haha
eileen((: says:
thanks ah!
eileen((: says:
good or bad way?
Let's spend the whole day, enjoying tauhuey says:
good duhhh

Let's spend the whole day, enjoying tauhuey says:
then i can buy th photo and admire ur face everyday
eileen((: says:
haha
eileen((: says:
yeaaaaa
Let's spend the whole day, enjoying tauhuey says:
:D
Let's spend the whole day, enjoying tauhuey says:
yay i goy seksi person t admire

Let's spend the whole day, enjoying tauhuey says:
chia i will miss u
Let's spend the whole day, enjoying tauhuey says:
and ur seksi face
Let's spend the whole day, enjoying tauhuey says:
haha ok bye! love u too! :D

Jovee >:B says:
haiyah maybe your friend is chio & pretty eh!
Jovee >:B says:
weedy that one imitation
Jovee >:B says:
hahahhahahahahaha!
Jovee >:B says:
yeah luh y chio and pretty luh
Jovee >:B says:
like princess right!

Jovee >:B says:
because i drew th castle with a hell lot of love
eileen((: says:
hahaha
Jovee >:B says:
so theres alot of love inside th castle!
eileen((: says:
yea babehh
Jovee >:B says:
Jovee loves Eileen!

HAHA! This two people makes me very happy:D

and Ann Lim, she makes my blood boil!!!!! HAHAHA!

A; The burning size of siren lies, says:
HAHAHAH ELLSWORTH KANSAS, 1948
A; The burning size of siren lies, says:
our one's Ellsworth Kansas, 2008
eileen((: says:
haha
eileen((: says:
so coooooooool
A; The burning size of siren lies, says:
yeah omgz!
can find your imaginary boyfriend there hawhaw!
eileen((: says:
haha
eileen((: says:
maybe ah!!!
eileen((: says:
ahha
A; The burning size of siren lies, says:
then he'll be REAL boyfriend
A; The burning size of siren lies, says:
but i highly doubt anyone would want t be your boyfriend HAHAAH

A; The burning size of siren lies, says:
EH I WANT CASTLE ALSO EILEEN.
eileen((: says:
haha
eileen((: says:
eileen((: says:
only princess have castle
eileen((: says:
you be my maidservant
eileen((: says:
haha
A; The burning size of siren lies, says:
WHAT THE
A; The burning size of siren lies, says:
OMG Y DIE GIVE ME SEE NOW!
eileen((: says:
hahaha
eileen((: says:
dowan
eileen((: says:
i still very young
eileen((: says:
don't want to die yet

A; The burning size of siren lies, says:
eileen v pretty

And that's the only nice comment she said. HAHA!

haha
ok. whatever. BYE!

2008-09-06T00:38:00.006+08:00

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY PSB"

Psb, you're finally 15! I hope you'll grow to become more mature and hopefully, smarter. But anyway, today's your day. Don't let anything put you down. You've been a very great best friend over the past few years. I'm really grateful for that. The test of time, really makes clear, friendships and how much they're worth. 5 and 3/4 years. Another 4 and 1/4 years, it will be out 10th year anniversary.

5 and 3/4 years, we've been best of friends.
For 5 and 3/4 years, we've been through a lot.
For 5 and 3/4 years, we've had disappointments, we've had success, our highs and lows, ups and downs.

5 and 3/4 years, you've been there for me. Even when I've shown my worse side.
5 and 3/4 years, we've changed.

We've changed together. For the better, for the worst. We'll always have those petty arguments that we always have, but I do hope we get past them.

Thank you for being my best friend psb. I really appreciate that. I really treasure you as a best friend. I love you plenty. 5 and 3/4 years past. Best friends forever. Let's keep to that.

Once again, happy birthday psb! Have fun on your day. You're one year older. (and I sure hope you're more mature)

Bye(:

[edit]
"Describe your laugh"
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!"
Lame, yea I know.
Whatever.

I'm supposed to stay awake till 1159 to be the last to wish psb a happy birthday and dedicate a song to her. --"

Heh.
[/edit]

2008-09-05T15:56:00.005+08:00

"Complicated matters"

You know. Life does suck sometimes. When I was young, I used to have no qualms about doing things for others. Now that I've grown, things are so much, so much more different.

Kindergarten, where we used to be so innocent. We didn't bother to put up facades. We don't care what people think of us. We're just ourselves. Now though, because of all those stupid facades that people put on, it cripples our vision. It makes our vision turn horribly blur. It makes us refuse to believe in things so, blatantly possible. I didn't have any idea it was possible for a single human being to have so many masks. I thought just penetrating past one, would be enough. How would I know, that it would be so easy for me to be bought over? I'm really really stupid.

Sometimes, I wish. That things weren't so complicated. But if everything were that simple, it would take the fun out of life, wouldn't it?

And suddenly I realise. I've long forgotten. Have you?

[edit]
I really wish I could treat you like I once did. Ever heard of the phrase, 'once bitten, twice shy'? Well. That's how I feel right now. You make me feel so disgusted with myself. Well, you've got what you wanted. Don't bother me anymore. I wish you all the best. Do whatever you want. Just leave me out. Cause in the end, I'd be the one who has to clear up the mess after you.

You can treat today as the last memory you are getting.

Bye.
[/edit]

2008-09-05T12:18:00.004+08:00

"All smiles for today"

Yay! Ann said I have good taste. Haha. And for a moment, I felt like I could hug her. Until she said something. Tskk!

Jovee said she'll build me a castle when she's rich. Gan, I'm waiting:D

Ann said our whole clique should go ellsworth tgth. HAHA!

BYE

2008-09-04T18:08:00.006+08:00

"MY TREE"

heh. self explanatory.
ll SHU(: ll says:
HAHAHHAH!NOTBADD!but eu gt grow tree arr!!
ll SHU(: ll says:
i wann bluff ppl..
eileen((: says:
bluff
ll SHU(: ll says:
aiyohhs toomuch toomuch!
eileen((: says:
haha
eileen((: says:
you are my treeee
eileen((: says:
haha
eileen((: says:
i love my tree bigbig
eileen((: says:
haha
ll SHU(: ll says:
HAHAHAH!im a living ting.
eileen((: says:
yea. tree also living thing
eileen((: says:
aha
ll SHU(: ll says:
oh tree also living ting hor..
eileen((: says:
haha
ll SHU(: ll says:
LOL.
eileen((: says:
quite sloe
eileen((: says:
ahah
eileen((: says:
slow*
ll SHU(: ll says:
hahaha toomuch its fast!
eileen((: says:
awwwww
ll SHU(: ll says:
F.A.S.T=SHU!!HAHAH(not the tree)
eileen((: says:
my tree so pretty:D

Heh. Haha! Tree, you're so cute. Haha! Hurry do your physics blog ah!

[edit]
Today's weather was awfully nice. How ironic. Thought some things over. Time to let go and move on. I've been holding on to this hope that she'll finally realise her mistakes and change. Right now, I just want to laugh at my stupidity for thinking she'll ever change. It's not even possible.

Well. What more can I say. Down is the new up.
[/edit]

[edit]
I forgot to reply tags. Heh.
[olivia] haha! on ah!
[ET] haha! That's why! Shu's going mad about olympics
[Ann] please ah! Beautiful face? Don't make me puke. I just had my dinner. Of course. Haha. Bibbidi Bobbidi BOO! Haha. So cute!
[SHU] Shu, you're living in self denial. HAHA!
[YanYi] Hello
[Ann] Sheesh. I knew I shouldn't have boosted your ego. Haha!
[ET] When Hilary's ego is sky high, it's not good. Haha
[hilary(:] Haha! That's it man! Hilary. EGO! Later burst. HAHA!

2008-09-03T22:09:00.007+08:00

"Friends"

The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch and swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had.

Guess that's true. In midst of the craziness, I really learnt to appreciate my friends more and more.

Ann: Haha! I really enjoy talking to you. You have this "amazing" ability to make me feel loads better even though we're talking on msn. YOU ARE A VERYVERY GOOD FRIEND! Well. Haha! Remember ah! Type BIGBIG for hil to see. Bet she feels so honoured.

Melanie: Chan! Haha! I bet you feel so honoured just seeing your name on my blog. You are a veryvery gooda frienda! Haha. Ok. I'm going a bit siao ah! But I really appreciate your company and your not so funny jokes. Haha! (:

Renee: Fbbf, thank you for always being there for me whenever I need you. You've been very encouraging(though annoying at times) :D You never fail to make me laugh with all your crude jokes about benny. Gotten over him already? I hope you have. Because I don't want to be the one who always gets suanned by you about benny. HAHA. Go on and be your Mrs Phelps. Study hard for EOYs. I really miss your presence in the class. No kidding. I miss all your lame jokes and your stupid gross voice and the way you bring joy and laughter into my life. Thank you for carrying me and being with me when I felt most vulnerable. Thank you for being ever so caring and understanding(though in the wrong way). Haha. Do study hard. I miss you lai, I really do.

Elizabeth: Psb. (: You might be shocked to see your name down there. I mean like ever since sec 1, we've been calling each other psb. So it's no wonder if we forget each other's name. Haha! Kidding. Just so you know, you've been a really great best friend. I enjoyed the conversations I have with you and like what I said to lai, thank you for being every so caring. You've always been there for me through ups and downs and I really appreciate that. Psb, do study hard for your EOYs. Have faith in yourself ah! We can pass both our maths with flying colours. Must uh. Believe in yourself. Cliche as it sounds, but who cares? Haha. We both love maths so much. Oh! And chinese. Must pass ah! Ni shi wo zui yao hao de peng you. Wo hen gan xie ni mei ci dou zai wo de shen bian gu li wo. Xian zai dao wo gu li ni le. Chen shi hui, Jia you! Wo xiang xin ni ke yi de.

Hilary: ABF! I really hope it's not that thing. If it's that thing, I'll really miss you a lot. Because then, who'd be there when I want to bitch about AHEM and who'd be my physics lab partner? And, if you really got that thing, I'll cry the whole day. You're still so young. Haven't even watch NC16. And you're supposed to be my bridesmaid. So no matter what, you must be strong. We'll be there to support you. If you don't get that thing, then good :D I'll let you say Hilary's hot as much as you want to. I'll say rocks when you say Hilary. Hilary, you really cannot get that thing. Or I'll really really miss you. Oh. And study for physics ah!

Weedy: Ngiam, you've been a really great and hilarious friend. You can go be entertainer when you grow up. Ngiam, thank you for brightening up my day with just that stupid voice and ugly face of yours. Stop going around calling people ugly shit(: nor smacking people's ahem. And most importantly, stop saying you're pretty and chio. Got a problem with that? Come and we'll talk in school on monday. Remember to bring your hand. Uh. Kidding. Don't bring your hand. It's too, I put it nicely, dangerous. But still, this is what makes you special(: Work hard for EOYs ah!

Ern Huei: Hello! You have been a very *coughnicecough* friend over the past 3 years. Uh. Yea. Haha. Thank you for being such a nice friend whom I can talk and rant to and uh. Being so honest with me when I do something wrong and giving me and psb the shut up face when we talk about some topic (sniggers). And uh. Snapping me out of my daydream and being a constant encourager. I still remember the start of the year, where I was still fooling around and not doing homework and being such an attitude problem kiddo.Uh. I'm kidding about the attutude problem part. Haha. But aiya. You know how annoyed I can get with some people. And I don't have the patience to deal with them. Heh. But you taught me how to be patient and uh. Have self control(yea right) and to be a good student. Heh. I don't have to tell you to study for EOYs because I know you're studying right now. Haha.

Jovee: Gan! My Prince Charming ah! Haha. Sleeping Beauty so sweet and romantic. Don't make fun of it ah! So nice and sweet. Tsktsk. Haha. You. Better. Study. Hard. For. EOYs. Heh. dotdot enough yo! Gan, you never fail to make me laugh. Haha! And I want my castle! HAHAHA!

Sharon: NICE BIG POST FOR YOU! Sharon Lam, the always straightforward one, doesn't beat around the bush. You've been a really great and nice friend. I miss you. Aw. Heart melts. Haha. Compose more songs and sing for me! Haha!

Dharsh: Partner, you've been a very great partner and tolerating with my constant blur-ness. Haha. Like e.g, my wallet and the Mrs Darbus thing. Haha. Work hard for your EOYs ah! I'll really miss sitting with you next year. Your vodka water bottle and all. (: Study hard ah!

Heyong: WHERE'S MY WALLET! Haha! You'll probably remember it for the rest of your life and suan me with it. Haha. And ah! Thank you for those memories since p6? Haha. You also study hard for EOYs. Heh.

JieXi: HCL pard! I MISS PLAYING WITH YOU LIKE DURING OUR SEC 2 TIME! I WANT A CLIQUE OUTING >:( Haha! Thank you for always encouraging me and all your lame jokes. Haha. I still remember TMD and icucicu ok! And I still thought you were innocent. Sheesh. Haha!

Sheryl: Sheryl Tan! Haha! I miss hanging out with you >:( Let's hurry go out soon. Like after EOYs. And ah! I still remember that picture you drew of me ok! Haha! You scanned it into the computer and my whole face was distorted. Thanks ah! You also better work hard :D

Samantha: Potty potty potty. I enjoy late night chats with you though it's not that often. Haha. I'm really glad to have you as a friend you know. Ranting to you about insignificant stuff and making you teach me Amaths. Haha. I really thank you for it :D

I think the people mentioned above are all very important to me. With them, I don't have to say those 3 words cause that's how our friendship works. I am feeling very emotional now. I want to tell everyone that ever mattered / matters / will matter to me this moment that, if I ever ever hurt you before, I am so sorry. For friends past, present and future, you guys need to know that most of the time I don't mean to. I'm not perfect you know? But I guess trying to be one made me even worse. So I'll stop trying to be who I think I should be but instead concentrate on mking the best out of who I already am. Hookay. I'm done dedicating yo. Time to hit the books. Bye-o!

P.S. Mae-Ann rocks my socks off.
P.P.S. Mae Ann's very mean.
P.P.P.S. And this is why she's mean.

eileen((: says:
i did this quiz
eileen((: says:
then they asked
eileen((: says:
what song will they play at your funeral
Mae-Ann says:
uh huh i saw
eileen((: says:
the answer i got was "barney theme song"
eileen((: says:
wahlao eh
Mae-Ann says:
hahaha
Mae-Ann says:
BEST
Mae-Ann says:
hahaha
eileen((: says:
so comforint
eileen((: says:
comforting*
Mae-Ann says:
dont worry, when thatday comes, i shall be a good junior and help you bring the songtrack :D
eileen((: says:
WAHLAOOOOOO

2008-09-02T18:21:00.009+08:00

"La-la land"

Tag replies first.
[ET] Haha! Well. We talked!
[YanYi] Hello
[Sam] Nyeh. HAHA
[Shu] It's 2012. HAHA. Lousyyyyy. You don't even know what year you're competing in.
[ern huei] who say one!
[Weedy] Yeayea. Love you.

From my title, you can already deduce how I spent my day. Disney movies (: And I'm gonna type loadsa random things which probably doesn't even make sense to you. Shows my incapability to link sentences.

Let's see. Sleeping Beauty, The Little Mermaid and Cinderella. Hurhur. So much for doing homework today. You know. Sometimes when I start watching all this kind of movies, I'd feel like I'm a kid again. I'd forget all those crap life's been throwing at me. Because I'd go "Awww! So sweet!" Sheesh. I sound like a small kid.

Digress

I like writing cause it always amazes me at how, a few simple lines can transform a complicated matter into simple black and white letters. Like, 'I love you'. Explains a lot doesn't it? But, if there's one thing I've learnt, it's never to try putting everything into words. Because when you actually see the situation before your eyes in black and white, it somehow, magnifies the severity of the whole thing. And that's when you know, things were better left in your head. Messy, but, well, less harsh. When you attempt to put into words the unexplainable, you get a mess. The limitations of the english language. Some things are just better left unsaid.

Digress

Pity, how people can lose their innocence that they had when they were younger. Of course, I'm no exception. I used to keep diaries in primary school. And in one of my entries, I wrote, 'I quarrelled with - today. I think it was my fault, a bit. I want to say sorry because i don't want her to be angry anymore. She is my best friend. So I want to say sorry, even if she don't say sorry.'

Now, my current diary, has a record of the way I reacted in a similar situation. ' We quarrelled. She's a bitch and I do not care if we remain like that. Either she gives in, or bye bye.'

Ironic much. Talk about how with age comes wisdom, forgiveness and more maturity in thinking. I think I was a much better person then. No wonder, this explains why I never seemed to have a problem with friends then.

Why didn't somebody tell me? Why didn't anybody warn me of the oncoming dangers that I clearly couldn't see? Why didn't I catch them before they caught up with me?

Well, look. I'm sorry at the way we are now. But I can't seem to find a way out of this. With you, there's no 'escape' or 'way out' sign. I'm stuck. Maybe that's for the best but what's the point of staying now, when the reason that I'm staying for is no longer valid?

When confronted with a situation, I don't run. I say everything out, to the best of my capabilities, as far as my vocabulary can carry me. And I thought you would be like that too, but I guess I was wrong. Not wrong-wrong. Maybe I just failed to see the complete side of you. I thought I did. I thought it was enough to penetrate through the first mask and stop there. But I was wrong, that was only the first one. Who would've thought, a human with masks so many that it's enough to actually make you believe it's true. Make me believe it's true. I guess, I miscounted yet again.

Usually, 'sorry' would be the greatest paradox in the world for a broken heart. But not this time, not with you and not with me. We both know better than to let one word change everything.

Like it's that easy.

Apropos matter, much

Thinking time.

Love, Eileen

2008-09-01T12:26:00.002+08:00

"Appreciation"

My dearest friends who always manages to make me laugh(: HAHA! Thank you you guys! Hilary's missing in the picture. HAHA! Wonder what she'll say. Heh.

Jovee, Weedy, Ern Huei, Ann, Psb, Hilary
HELLO CLIQUE:D I love you all(:

With them, nothing is impossible. HAHA!

2008-08-31T13:05:00.004+08:00

"In the air"

I'm really grateful for the stupid lai who actually highlighted that part and actually read it and she's the first one to notice something's wrong. Hehe! She actually managed to fish out a lot of information outta me. Woah lai, I'm surprised :D And over MSN, her first message was "EILEEN! WHAT'S WRONG?" HAHAHA! Nothing big, lai. HAHA! Thank you for everything. I love you!

Stinky Ern Huei went to Malaysia. HAHA!
1 week. And so many homework. Heh.

Pardon my random-ness. Hehe. 6 more days till psb's birthday. Hinthint(:

[edit/]
I hereby declare, beethoven's my new crush. HAHAHA! Pathetique. Heh.
Psb, you've read the part. HAHA! Well. heh! I love you bigbig too(:
I really, really hate you.
Tag replies :D
[Sam] Yeayea. It's over :D
[Ern Huei] HAHA! IT'S OVERRRRR
[heyong] SLOWWWWWWW :D
[Ann] HAHA! Well. I figured that no one deserves this kinda treatment. (:
[JOVEE] Bet you're so proud of me aren't you? I LURBZXZXZ EUU! Hehehe!
[Ern Huei] My post has always been profound :D
[mel] HAHA. Of course you do :D chan so smart!
[olivia] Hello poem partner :D
[Sharon] HAHA! You should know how much you mean to me. HAHA! ZOMG! sounds so mushy!
[Serene] HEHEHE! thanks (:
[hilary] That method confirm fail :D
[Sam] YAYYYYYYY
[mel] That's why! HAHA! WHEEEE! It's OVERRR! haha
[jiexi] sucked:D HAHA! We should be the fail exams buddy:D
[SHU] yea sure. I want to see you in 2010 London olympics ah! If I don't see you, then. HAHAH!

BYEEEE

2008-08-29T13:16:00.000+08:00

"Oh the joy"

I'm here, we're here
Re-discover, Re-start, Renew.

"The key to survival is denial. We deny that we're tired, we deny we are scared, we deny how badly we want to succeed, and most importantly we deny that we are in denial. We only see what we want to see, and believe what we want to believe, and it works. We lie to ourselves so much that after awhile the lies start to seem like the truth. We deny so much that we can't recognize the truth right in front of our faces." - Grey's Anatomy

I suppose what the quote says is true.

Term 3's ended. I can't say I've really enjoyed this term. My results sucked. Well, apart from english and combined humans, which I don't consider spectacular, my other results are horrible. Holidays are here, but I don't feel the joy of holidays. Perhaps because of EOYs. Thinking of it, well, the plausibility of me failing my EOYs are 100:1.

Ugh. I don't like realising stuff, though inferiority's supposed to spur me on. Rather, it drags me down with all that melancholy. Omg, I've really screwed up this term.

On a lighter note, teachers day celebration were enjoyable. Haha. Miss wong's very cute!

Ok. Time to work hard!

EOYs up next.
Go, Eileen, go.

2008-08-28T18:59:00.002+08:00

"Every once in a while"

PIANO EXAM'S OVERRRRRRRRRR! EVERYBODY SAY YAYYYYYYYYYY! I don't have to touch the stinking piano anymore. HAHA. Exam's damn screwed. HA! My hand's kept slipping while playing my piano pieces! Hehe! Play melody and sing, I anyhow make up tune. From D E C E D F D, I sing until D E C B A B. Romantic or contemporary. It's so obvious it's contemporary, I go and say it's romantic. HAHA! OMGGGG! IMMA DIE. HAHA! But it's overrrrrr. WHEEEEE!

To Ngiam: HAPPY BIRTHDAY YOU UGLY SHIT! AHHA! HAVE FUN ON YOUR BIRTHDAY! I KNOW YOU LOVED YOUR SURPRISE AND THE FACIAL:D HAHA! I LOVE YOU! GROW UP AH! ONE YEAR OLDER ALREADY! (:

2008-08-27T21:22:00.002+08:00

"PPES"

Haha. Once again, I'm having nonsensical idea. Pre-piano exam syndrome. I'm whining like a lil' kid. HAHA. I just told my mum that I wished with all my heart that my examiner will be sick tomorrow. And my mum said that I'm very bad. Which is true. But I can't help it. It's like. A hand in my stomach and squeezing it. HAHA! Yes. I admit. I'm afraid! I'm afraid that I won't get my distinction. I'm afraid that I won't even pass! Aural. HAHAHA! I bet the examiner will be damn pek tomorrow. Sight singing. Die. Play melody and sing. Die even more. Clap the rhythm, guessing the period, whether it's tenary or binary, polyphonic or homophonic, major or minor = MAJORMAJORMAJOR DEATH SENTENCE. HAHA! And, while I was practising piano just now, I was imagining the exam scenario. Then I got so scared my fingers started shaking. HAHA! Ok. I'm ranting a lot here. HAHA! I go and practise my piano. BYEEEEEE!

2008-08-25T20:26:00.003+08:00

"So much to say"

I have manymanymany things to say. But I just don't know where to begin. Ironic much? Whatever.

Things happened today. During some lesson. And now, I just want to tell you. We will not change for you. Rather, it is you, who has to change. Because in this freaking superficial and screwed up world, it's either you live with it, or you get out. So, to ensure that all of us live our last 1 and 1/4 year happily, I suggest you reflect on yourself. I kinda pity you. Cause you don't even know what you did wrong. But I can guarantee you, if you don't change, then, it's too bad. Because in the end, the one who suffers is not us, it's you. And as a friend, I don't wish you to see you suffer. If you fall, I'll just try my best to be there and pick you up. I can't promise anything. But one thing I can tell you is that, if you don't stop acting like you own this world, if you don't stop being self centred, then I can't help you much. I don't want to pity you. Because it would seem like I'm looking down on you. I'd rather call it as giving you advice.

And you rendered me speechless once again.

God bless,
Eileen.

2008-08-24T12:09:00.003+08:00

"Panic Attack!"

Yes. I'm suffering from panic attack. I'm having my piano exam in like. Uh. 4 days time, which is Ngiam's birthday. Ngiam, you're my jinx. I hereby command everyone to pray for me every 10 minutes on 28th August. HAHAHA!

tag replies.
[Serene] :D Thank you.
[ReNeE] Haha! FBBF! I love you sosososo much! Haha. Xie xie ni!
[Jie Xi] Hehe. Cheerup-ed already. Thanks (:
[Ern Huei] Haha. Chinese. Oh the joy. HAHA!
Off to practise my piano. Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee :D

2008-08-22T22:30:00.003+08:00

"Ohmyfreakinggoodness"

Haha! I did badly for Amaths, so whatever.

It's not as if I didn't study hard enough. It baffles me, really, how I managed to score so low. It's not like I wanted my results to be like this. Well. It's time to really wake up and work hard for EOYs. And then, the year's gonna end. It's been so fast. Sometimes, I wish things would never change. But still.

Change change. Everyone's changing. You've changed, I've changed. Strange, how I never realised how empty you leave me feeling.

Blah. Ok. Enough. I shall go dedicate to people. (:

Ok. On second thoughts, I shan't. I feel too lazy. HAHA. I shall just write a whole list of names and write a message.

To PSB, Ern Huei, Lai, Ngiam, Gan, Hil, Ann, Rocker, Jiexi:
HELLO! THANK YOU FOR BEING SUCH GOOD FRIENDS :D Wo ai ni men! <3

And it seems like I always have this to fall upon.

2008-08-21T21:35:00.003+08:00

"When all seems lost"

Thank God for my wonderful results so far(: HEHE(:

LALALA. I shall go dedicate post to Renee.
Renee Lai Li Ji, Michael Phelps is not your husband and stop proclaiming yourself as Mrs Phelps, though I must say that your taste improve a lot after the whole Benny thing. Gotten over him already hur? HAHA. Finally.

Anyway, you've been a great friend these few years. You never fail to bring a smile onto my face though there are times where you piss me off VERY badly(: Haha. But you know that I love you loads :D I miss all the times spent with you this year, now that we're in a different class. I miss your nonsense and crap. Renee Lai, I miss you so so so so so much. Though you annoy me at times with your GEPI. HAHA. I miss your ICUCICU and your singing of UIC and beautiful girls. Though they are weird and all, but those are the things that make you you. I wouldn't want to change anything for that(: Lai, wo hen ai ni!

Psb, thank you for being so honest with me. Haha. I'm glad you were there to pull me out of my reverie. Thank you so much. I can't even find any words to express my gratitude so you'll have to make do with this(: Psb, You have been a great friend, always being there to support me and help me, and when I do wrong, you're not afraid to reproach me or snap me out of my daydream. (: Thank you so much PSB. You don't know how much you have helped me. I love you!

Ok. Enough. Tag replies:D
[Dharsh] HAHA. yeayea. I'll link you:P
[ET] Ehh. Just admit it. You love it. Nyeh
[Sam] yeayea. heh.
[SHU(:] ahhhh. Olympics my FOOT. Learn how to swim in the library. Only you can think of that! Haha! Who cares if you don't like bumbum as much already? teehee. BUMBUM BUMBUM BUMBUMBUM:D
[ReNeE] FBBF!!!!!!!!! I miss you loadsy too:D Hello? Who's the one that go round parading the school saying she's Mrs Phelps hur?

2008-08-20T20:12:00.004+08:00

"The only thing that's true"

You were high when I met you, now you're fallen like a leaf from a tree. What are friends for? Well, you tell me. Because I honestly don't know. And I've given up trying. It doesn't seem worth it anymore. It puzzles me to why I tried to begin with.

Yes, you've changed. So've I. So has everyone. But whether we change or not, it isn't the question. Change's the only thing constant, in this stupid world. It's what we change into-I wonder if you realise. I'm not one to speak, myself. But I do recognise and respect limits. Do you, have you been? Somehow I doubt that. I'll tell you this. I hate what you've become. Hate's a strong word, but hey. I'm trying to be honest. For a change. All your talk about changing? Well, that's velleity at its worst.

And I honestly regret-Regret everything I'd ever tried for you. It seems so inane. But then, when I think of it. It's all been more than worth it. What've you gained, what've I? You've not left me with much to say. Thanks for the memories; Though now, you're gone with the wind. Out of sight, out of mind? I'm working on that. Do what you want. Do whatever you want. It doesn't concern me. Count me out.

2008-08-15T19:52:00.002+08:00

"Pretty, if the rain will pour"

And yes. Common tests are over(: It flew past like this: ZOOOM.

Amaths was traumatising, let's all get prepared to see a zero on my paper. Oh well. I suppose, my F9 for Amaths will prevail throughout the year. But it's not time to worry about it yet. I'm free! (:

People still do confuse me. I'm thinking too much. But whatever. I always do. Perhaps it's time for me to stop thinking too much because thinking really makes me head hurt. And I've got half a mind(and whatever's left of it) to stop thinking and wondering about the actions of people. But it's interesting. Really. When you really do see people in their different phase. So much for constancy. I seriously abhor abrupt changes. And once again, I'm talking nonsense. Bah. So much for attempting to make my blog less wordy. I think it is more wordy than ever.

Please please please. Hurry! Patience has got to be the hardest virtue to acquire. Ever.

Sheesh. Whatever. Bye.

2008-08-14T23:15:00.003+08:00

"One more to go. Just one more"

Oh dear. Amaths, amaths, I love you so.

Ok. Whatever. Hello everybody, I'm prepared to fail Amaths tomorrow. Oh great. This will all result in my very acute planning.

Blah. Amaths, please do not fail me this time. I'm really sick of it.

Bye.

2008-08-14T14:59:00.008+08:00

"Just a little bit more"

Alright. Physics and chem were ok... As usual.
And everyone can see the rainbow up there. So pretty, and nice. If only everything were that prettiful.
And then again, I'm talking nonsense. Oh dear. 1 more paper left. Persevere, eileen, persevere.

And yet, she couldn't touch anything more than that.

[edit]

Well. I'm washing my hands off this whole thing. I can't be bothered anymore. And as for you, I shall not have any hope of you changing for the better again. I could dream, but I shan't. Cause in dreams, things will happen the way I want them to. But in reality, things I dream of will never happen.

And again, I'm thinking too much.

I don't want to be like that. Thinking hurts, you know? Being so strong-minded isn't always a good thing. For one, you can never find someone who thinks like you, who understands what you're driving at. And I am still trying to. Because it sucks speaking to people who thinks I'm speaking greek. (Or worse, not speaking human at all, e.g. Isabel.) Some may see me as melodramatic but I think I just think a little harder and deeper, as compared with everybody else. I like to break things down, think through it and come up with an explanation. To me, everything has a reason attached to it. Kind of tiring to think this way, but I always feel a sense of indignation whenever something I disagree with is said by someone else. Some thing that I find wrong and misleading. So I have to comment. Or not I'll go mad.

And once again, I'm involved in something that's none of my business. The story of my life.

2008-08-13T15:19:00.003+08:00

"4 down. 3 more to go."

So yea. That sums up the tests I have left. Geog and maths were ok. As usual. I wonder why I don't get bored of my monotonous "it's ok." Maybe it's just me. Bah. Whatever.

I think humans are real complicated. I shan't expose the thought here though. It's too, facetious.

Wow. I'm becoming a master at dissembling my emotions. Sometimes, I'm so good at it, I forget I'm even pretending.

Which is good, in a way. Yesterday was quite a rough day for me. It was so bad that I couldn't even force myself to plaster just a tiny smile. I don't want to seem querulous or anything but it's true. I had better snap out of this whole ' post-common-tests-syndrome' soon because I'm not prepared to suffer the consequences that comes along with it if I don't.

Ok. Whatever. Courtesy aside, it's time to swear.

Kidding. I've long gotten over that.

I am still happily blogging here at this time. While other people are busy studying, I can still come here and waste time. I have half a mind to close down this blog. It's too. Ostentatious.

Ok. I'm getting random-er and random-er everyday. But it all makes perfect sense to me. After all, I cannot say that anyone knows me better than I do can I? Because that would be scary. I mean, it's my life. I should be the one clear of my own equation.

Bye.

2008-08-12T17:16:00.003+08:00

"2 down. 5 more to go."

Lit and SS have been relatively ok, I suppose. Although all the nonsense that were written down in my 'oh-so-smart' mood are a little uncomprehendable.

Emaths and Geog tomorrow. Oh. How I dread it. I haven't been very hardworking the past few days. Emaths should be manageable, I think. Geog? Let's just laugh it off as though nothing has happened.

School's ok. I have many things to complete soon. Deadlines, deadlines. So much to do, so little time. And here I am, ranting to people. How contradicting.

It's time to study. And clear my head and stop dwelling too much on stupid stuff.

Till we meet next time. Bye.

Love,
Eileen

2008-08-11T14:04:00.007+08:00

"I want out"

Time slips by so fast when you're having fun. CTs are tomorrow. And the year's already more than half gone. And I haven't done anything that's meaningful. Goodness gracious.

But anyway, I was looking through my old posts. And it sure got me laughing. For a while. And then, I realised. How much I changed over the years. For the better, for the worse, whatever. If only things would never change.

And now, I can't help but feel resigned. Give and take. Let's give and take.
Eileen.

2008-08-10T23:30:00.002+08:00

"Apprehension"

Went to nell's house today. To do uh. girly stuffs which turned out to be not so girly. But it's still fun:D Lemon cream puff rocks:D

Anyway, I'm too tired to blog now. HAHA. So. TADA! I'll just reply my tags and off I go.

Tag replies:
[shu] HAHA. shu, don't be too childish ar! Must grow up! :D
[rina] HAHA! All the best for your cts too(:
[sharon] yeayea:D ahha. I thought that phrase was coolio. HAHA. Don't mind do you? If you do, I'll whack you on your head:D HAHA. Kidding.

2008-08-09T20:49:00.006+08:00

"Because everybody's changing"

Hehe(: Happy birthday Singapore :D Church was fun. And after church was also fun. Ok. I don't know what I'm talking about. :D

Time to study. But I ain't no time to pull up my socks sky high. If I had the time, I bet the prefects will be so happy that I finally pulled up my socks. Ok. I'm suffering from chronic whining syndrome, so pardon my expletives.

Whatever. Bye.

[/edit] I almost forgot. Psb and I take a long time to say bye to each other over msn:D Haha. Here's the proof.

SPOILER: CHILDISH CONTENT ALERT
eileen((: says:
im drained
eileen((: says:
aha
Elizabeth says:
im sleepy
eileen((: says:
samoes
Elizabeth says:
haha
Elizabeth says:
alala
eileen((: says:
lalala
Elizabeth says:
im slepy hahaha
eileen((: says:
hehe
eileen((: says:
ok
psb
one two three we go sleep ok:D
Elizabeth says:
hha
how to!
okay
11
eileen((: says:
huh?
Elizabeth says:
huh?
oh
1
haha
eileen((: says:
2
hehe
Elizabeth says:
3
HAHA
how to sleep
eileen((: says:
uh
haha
we begin with bye
haha
Elizabeth says:
haha
byebye!
goodnight!
sleep tight, sweet dreams <3!
love(x19999999 99)
okay shit pressd 9 instead of 0
okay byebye!
:D
eileen((: says
haha
what the hell.
lol
okn
night
sweetdreams
love you
bye(:
don't dream of ahemahem too much ah!
hah
Elizabeth says:
huh what ahem!
joe jonas ah?
HAHA
bye! :D
eileen((: says:
no
Elizabeth says:
Dont dream of me too much!
eileen((: says:
******
ahha
i won't
haha
Elizabeth says:
cheh walao
eileen((: says:
night(:
byebye
ahha
Elizabeth says:
people sleepy, you still want ot make them vomit in their dreams haiyo
haha okay bye nights! :D
eileen((: says:
hhaha
vomit what shit
think of ME:D
ahha
Elizabeth says:
vomit food
eileen((: says:
byebye
Elizabeth says:
heh okay bye! :D
eileen((: says:
whatever
haha
Elizabeth says:
Think of me too! :D
eileen((: says:
beybyebyebybebye
i won't:D
ahha
kidding
Elizabeth says:
But dont drool too much!
haha knew it , hehehe
bye!
eileen((: says:
whateverrrr
haha
don't miss me too much:LD
:D*
haha
night
<3
psb, my convo with you exceeded the thing
haha
talk to much with you already
Elizabeth says:
haha all nonsensical crap :D Which is goodio haa
bye!
eileen((: says:
lol
haha
Elizabeth says:
Dont make it exceed yet ah!
eileen((: says:
we've been saying bye for the last. 10 mins?
haha
Elizabeth says:
later they ban us from talking
haha
okay
FINAL bye
eileen((: says:
haha
yea
that's why
ok
FINAL BYE
BYEBYE
Elizabeth says:
lol means i cant talk alrdy
haha
okay BYEBYE
eileen((: says:
go la go la
haha
what can't talk
haha
can what
Elizabeth says:
as in cause' i said FINAL bye
eileen((: says:
lol
you're stil talking
Elizabeth says:
then i stil said i cant talk
eileen((: says:
--"
Elizabeth says:
so menas i broke the rule
eileen((: says:
dumb
haha
Elizabeth says:
Okay whatever
haha
bye
eileen((: says:
ok
Elizabeth says:
:D
eileen((: says:
bye
haha
Elizabeth says:
not bad!
eileen((: says:
eh
Elizabeth says:
we both said bye
haha
bye!
eileen((: says:
you broke the rule again
ahha!
BYE:D
Elizabeth says:
hello you too
haha
bye!
eileen((: says:
haha
fine
BYE
Elizabeth says:
And again
BYE!
eileen((: says:
haha
BYE
ok
Elizabeth says:
Engoush ah!
eileen((: says:
that's it man
ahah
Elizabeth says:
Bye!
Goodnight
eileen((: says:
you're the one
ahha
Elizabeth says:
zaijian
eileen((: says:
byebye
sayonara
adios
Elizabeth says:
see you!
eileen((: says:
night
Elizabeth says:
In your dreams!
eileen((: says:
goodbye
haha
Elizabeth says:
Goodnight!
bye!
eileen((: says:
see you in your dreams too
night
Elizabeth says:
This is never going to end
HAHA
eileen((: says:
bye.
haha
that's why
Elizabeth says:
bye!
one two three
eileen((: says:
im gonna blog abt this
haha
Elizabeth says:
we both go off
haha
eileen((: says:
ok
Elizabeth says:
okay!
okay
1
eileen((: says:
2
Elizabeth says:
we press 3 tgther
haha
eileen((: says:
ok
Elizabeth says:
3
eileen((: says:
3
Elizabeth says:
shit
3
eileen((: says:
ahah
3
ok
Elizabeth says:
3
okay
eileen((: says:
that's it
haha
Elizabeth says:
bye! :D
AHA
eileen((: says:
bue
Elizabeth says:
retarded lol
eileen((: says:
bye*
haha
Elizabeth says:
hahaha
byebye! :D
eileen((: says:
that's why
haha
byebye(:
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lame I know(: Now I know why we exceeded the thing. HAHA
[edit/]

2008-08-08T11:50:00.002+08:00

"For what it's worth"

NDP went reasonably well today. (: The whole band did great:D haha. And, I'm so proud of my section(:

Percussion section:
You all have done well today:D sir wanted me to tell you all that. HAHA. And I'm proud of you guys. You all have truly made this NDP a success:D This is finally over. However, do study hard for your common tests(: I wish you guys all the best(:

And during the national day celebration, sharon was happily giving me ettiquette lessons on how to sit like a lady. Cause I disturbed her by shaking my leg, and she threatened to hit my leg if I shook it one more time. HAHA. The celebration was great. Celebrating the Singapore Spirit(: I'm proud to be a Singaporean. Ok. Time to scoot off here. AND STUDY!

P.S. PSB and sheryl nicely went to watch dark knight without me. How nice is that? (:

2008-08-07T20:44:00.003+08:00

"I've got what it takes"

School's a bore. I shall skip that part to not bore you out.

NDP Rehearsal went great:D And percussion did well today. Cause they have a great SL:D which is yours truly. Ok. I shall stop being ego. HAHA. But yes. I'm proud of them(:

Gina, if you do that, I'll slaughter you(: HAHA.

Anyway, tag replies
[et] you advisor? we'd all die.
[hilary] hehe! I love you too
[et] glass break
[isobel] YES MAMA!:D
[sharon] hehe! soon is very uh. unsoon. HAHA
[olivia] yeayea. haha!
[mel] aww. soonsoon. haha
[isabel] nyeh:D
[et] psb:D
[rina] sheesh. HAHA! Yeayea. whatever. lol.
[dharsh] hehe! You've been the greatest partner ever(:
[et] yesyes. thank you!
[ernhuei] i won't faint on the parade. NYEH

2008-08-06T16:35:00.005+08:00

"Unpredictable"

School. It tires me out. The way we all want to do well and strive for As. Yes. It's good. But sometimes, people's behaviour irks me. It's perfectly alright if you don't want to listen. People do want to listen and do well. All your talks about working hard. Well. That's just your own wishful thinking.

I just realised. All my life, I've only been scraping through. I've only scraped through my maths, whatever. And I've never shown much responsibilty towards my work or role either. I've never been consistent in anything I do, and I have always been neglecting things that are more important. To satisfy my own needs, I have not spared a thought for others. I have always been expecting them to be there for me when I need them. It just never occurred to me that they, themselves are also going through troubles of their own. I haven't been there for my friends when they need me. The tactlessness of my own actions disgust me. And the numerous things that have been happening and they have been spinning round my head. My inept ability to deal with my section, my relationship with my friends, my schoolwork, even, stresses me out to the point where I just want to give everything up. The abstruseness of this whole thing is uncomprehendable. Everything just seems so surreal. Like in a dream. I never thought anything like that would happen to me. Perhaps I could slowly dissolve in the surreality of this matter, to somewhere where there's nothing.

Common tests are fast approaching and I haven't even done anything yet. Nor have I started to study. I should at least attempt to. But well. CTs aren't here yet. Till then, I shall bask in the idealistic ideologies of my, very ideal world. Ok. I should attempt to grow up a little. Afterall, it's time to.

Adequacy holds such profusion of pristine elation. Pray, don't let me down.

Sheesh. My thinking's so generic

2008-08-04T16:14:00.002+08:00

"Cause nobody knows for sure"

Today's such a tiring day. I had no idea I fell asleep in class till my partner woke me up. Time to reflect and stop being lazy. Common tests are approaching, and I have no mood to pull up my socks. Suck fest. But still, what can I do? It's time to wake up and stop being so lazy and work hard. That's it. Resolution. Stop being lazy and start studying instead of thinking about useless things. BYE

2008-08-03T21:11:00.002+08:00

"Let's spend the whole day, watching the freeway."

Weedy Ngiam, I love you. I really do :D You're the most hilarious person ever! HAHA! You, pretty and chio? MY FOOT! HAHA. That girl must be blind! :D Kidding! Yes la yes la. You very pretty and chio...... ahemnotahem. HAHA. But just so you know, you've been the sweetest friend ever! Thanks for always cheering me up with your nonsensical nonsense. I really appreciate that. And for those hilarious convos in school. :D Stop being ego and you're not gentle and demure. You also can't be a debator when you grow up. HA! My mother told me not to lie.

Ok ngiam, that's all. I love you. I really do. (See? That's the way to end a blog post. Link back to main point. My argumentative and formal letter writing confirm chopchop 100% full marks :D HAHA!)

Love,
Eileen

2008-08-02T16:34:00.001+08:00

"Like a old rusty drawer with unhappy memories"

I'm getting tired, of most everything. Common tests are approaching, sooner than I'd fathomed. Soon, everyone's going to be burying their heads; in books, notes, assesment books, whatnot. I really hate such scenarios. It's as though all the emulousness permeates the air, it gets all tense-Stifling even.

Well, what can I say? Life sucks. The end.

2008-07-28T15:41:00.003+08:00

"If you pretend so hard that something doesn't exist, it doesn't. It'll disappear."

So that's the end of it. So what? I am not a good leader, I admit. But still, I try. The question is, have you? You have been complaining non stop about it. If you think you can lead the section well, then go ahead. I won't stop you. I never asked you to follow my example. But since you said that I am not setting a good example for you guys by leaving early for my CHECKUP, then I thank you very much. This shows that at least, you look up to me and want to follow me. For this, I thank you. THANK YOU SOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH for pointing out my mistake to me. Have I ever told you what a FINE example you would be for the future sec 1s? If I haven't, then there it is. If you can't even respect me, how can you get people to respect you? Ok. I have ranted enough. This is it. I give up.

God, are you sure I can lead my section well?

2008-07-26T17:26:00.000+08:00

"There's no turning around"

Did you ever think, that I might be disappointed as well? Doesn't my opinion matter at all? I feel ever so barricaded and dumb.

It rained today. The rain often creates in me this awfully silly sense of melancholy which manages to be somehow, refreshingly invigorating. Goodness gracious, the mess I make of myself.

Tests're soon coming my way. Guess this'll all result in me planning with great enthusiam -my study schedule. Still, I can almost assure you,It's merely a pristine example of velleity. In the interim, I suppose instead of slipping into the reveries I so often entertain. I'll attempt fufilling my ever so great intentions. (:

Love,
Eileen

2008-07-25T23:11:00.003+08:00

"If this really meant so much to me, then how come I find it nothing but a joke?"

Seriously. Reflect on yourself. And stop being hypocritical. For the good of everyone. Thank you very much.

I mean. It's ok if you don't want to respect/listen/obey me. I don't care. At the most, I'll just ignore you. Provocation has never gotten anyone anywhere. Wake up. Can't you tell? I seriously couldn't care much of what you thought of me. But stop implanting this false image of me into other people.

Ok. Many things happened. And I don't want to elaborate on it. I'm afraid that somewhere along the way, I might just lose myself. Succumb myself to conformity. What can I do hur? I'm so wrapped up in this facade of mine that I don't even know who I am anymore. My life's a joke. It's like an empty shell. It's become fake. And non existant. Help

I need to reflect on myself. I need to go back to God.

2008-07-24T21:39:00.002+08:00

"Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer"

I suppose, the test of time really makes clear, friendships, and how much they're worth.

Some random thoughts plaguing me now. I think people're real complicated. Some, at least. Why thrive so hard for something. You want to reach the top so bad? I didn't think you'd backstab and step on other people just to achieve that. I wonder if you ever cogitate, it does get lonely on the top. And with everyone you've hurt to reach all those altitudious heights. You'll eventually fall. On another note, maybe you'll really enjoy the success of your, envious endeavours. It'd probably be real fantastic, basking it all that. Whatever it is, I think all this makes clear;Makes clear, everything.

Today really was weird and awfully screwed up. I felt out of sorts and detached. It's hard, everything. Tossed up, thrown about.Risen up, crashed down. Pulled along, Falling behind. Bashed up, battered around. Sometimes, I wish everything could just go surreal. And perhaps, I could slowly dissolve,to somewhere where there's nothing.Still, I need to go on. Press on, continue, not stop. Yes, melancholy never got anyone anywhere. They say happiness is a choice.

But somehow, I'm starting to develop a deep dislike for myself. In life, turgid, pompous as it is, I'm losing myself. Losing myself to society's ideals; And I become so darned busy sponging up such idiocy that now i'm left with the task of attempting in vain. To rediscover me, me with all I used to be. Now what I see's a mere corpse, a shell; Disgusting, exsanguious, decadent, empty. What's become of me, what's become of everyone? Slander, backstabbing, gossping, lying. It's overwhelming. My life's becoming something fake, something non-existant.

Sometimes I think, why do things go wrong. Why do they have to. Sure, it teaches us lessons; Trials, temptations, failure, whatever. But it really sucks. It even hurts sometimes. Where's the deal in that. I make an awful lot of mistakes. It's pretty daunting. I was thinking today, I think my life's awfully upside-down. Intangible seems ever so unreachable. I read something today, pertaining to flattery. I suppose it's pretty true.

We sometimes think that we hate flattery, but we only hate the manner in which it is done.-Francois de la Rochefoucauld.

2008-07-20T00:01:00.002+08:00

Horizon: An imaginary line that recedes as you approach it.

Thinking too much triggers unnecessary thinking.

I finally realise. How much people can change within such a short period of time. To suit their environment, crowds; conformity, whatnot. But still, isn't that just adaptation? It's beyond my understanding why certain people are able to remain so utterly ignorant. it beats me, how they posess this incredible ability to permit such sudden, and in my opinion, schizophrenic alteration.

It's such a pity, we being the weaklings we all are. Sometimes, I don't think people really do understand each other as much as they seem to and claim. We all have our own reasons for doing certain things, and its not feasible that someone else grasps that reason entirely. We all put up facades; wall them around our own dear selves so much we don't even know what's going on anymore. It cripples our vision, makes us distrust things so blatantly possible and to believe in fantasies, as wild as our minds take us. And sometimes, when we want to break out, the world comes crashing back again, and it's often too much for one to take. Because we all have our own insecurities and secret fears; though we don't admit it, they're as real as anything else gets. We cover it up, masking it from the prying eyes of the masses. But sometimes, its a little too much to keep hidden altogether. We condemn, and we rise. It's addictive, it's fun, and we keep crawling back for more. And this damned process repeats itself so much, we get lost amidst the fight we started once with our own hands, and only all too soon we start mouthing all sorts of nonsense and insensitive words we don't even mean in the first place. We start acting in ways so unnatural and unfamiliar; in mannerism once despised, yet now so painfully seductive.

Apropos much,
Thinking time.

I'm sorry

2008-07-19T20:28:00.003+08:00

"I lost my discretion"

What are friends for? Well, you tell me. Because I honestly don't know. And I've given up trying. It doesn't seem worth it anymore. It puzzles me to why I tried to begin with. Yes, you've changed. So've I. So has everyone. But whether we change or not, it isn't the question. Change's the only thing constant, in this stupid world. It's what we change into-I wonder if you realise. I'm not one to speak, myself. But I do recognise and respect limits. Do you, have you been? Somehow I doubt that. I'll tell you this. I hate what you've become. Hate's a strong word, but hey. I'm trying to be honest. For a change. All your talk about changing? Well, that's velleity at its worst. Do what you want. Do whatever you want. It doesn't concern me. Count me out.

I didn't turn my back on you. You walked away from me first.

2008-07-18T17:16:00.004+08:00

Nothing ever changes.

Psb, we still look the same and act the same. (Like p1 kids) How demoralising is that? AHHA. You want evidence? HERE!

Still childish. Still childish. Still childish.

Mature already la.

Psb, do you notice the distinct likeness between those two. HAHA! It's like. Our favourite pose or something. LOL. And I'm always the one with the twist. HAHAHA. And the pursed smile. Time to change pose ar psb. HAHA. Love you.

2008-07-17T21:05:00.003+08:00

The answer may be different, but the problem is the same. It never goes away, just like a never ending circle.

Ok. I feel like some kinda emo kiddo now. Ha!

But anyway, I feel very sick of Amaths. Like hello? We're not even gonna use PARTIAL FRACTIONS when we grow up please! Not like I'm gonna be a mathematician... But if I were one, I would get the nobel prize for sure like DUH. HAHA! Ok. I feel damn lame. I shall copy this short extract from psb's blog.

"Anyway, last night psb called and i was doing my chem hmwk, so when i picked up i asked her about some balancing thing so we started talking abt chem for veryverylong. Then she said the intention of the call was to just call me for 10 seconds, say psb i love you and goodnight, but somehow ah it ended up with 'stupid ass' 'spoil my mood' hahah thanks alot ah :D Then yea she's very amused over this but somehow i still dont get it, we were at the drink stall, i borrowed money from her, cause' apparently nobody wanted to buy the 20cent coin that i could kiss for 10bucks, so simply, was broke. heh.Then she ordered icetea and lemon tea. so when the aunty took out the bottled lemon tea, i told the aunty that she took the wrnog one and that i ordered the cup one, then she went 'shut up its mine' and went keesiao. heh :D Dont get it but she finds it hilarious."

Psb, shut up. It's hilarious. HAHA! "shut up. it's mine" classic eileen answer. LOL. You're a mooooooooood spoiler. Lol. Ok. This is damn lame. But aiya. Heck. Lol

Time. It tells me everything. About this friendship of ours. We've gone through our ups and downs. There were good times and bad times, but we managed to get through it though the road was a little rocky. After all, there can't be a happy ending without a rocky start(: I really want to thank God for bringing you into my life. You're the bestest friend one can ask for. Don't let anyone bring you down. Thank you for always being by my side, your encouragement and support really mean a lot to me. Thank you also for all the lame weird convos that we have over msn, phone, in school etc. Thank you for listening to me when I feel the need the rant to you about some things and always cheering me up and making my day, for never getting angry with me even at my worst. Thank you for accepting me for who I am, even though I'm mean and nasty, and also, thank you for being who you are. Thank you for everything. Sorry for being a bitch sometimes and not being understanding enough. I'm sorry if the way I acted or behaved in the past hurt you in any way.

I love you PSB, I really do. I appreciate the fact that we've gone through so many things together.

In the years to come, I hope we'll still be as close to each other as ever, and that nothing will change.

I love you(:

And it hurts me to realise how wrong we have all gone. All of us